I dare you.

It is a process... breathing. Getting up in the

morning to find that I am still sleeping.

With my eyes fixed on the sky, instead of the

floor, I am reaching for what is unattainable.

As I float, or fall too quickly, into a new part

of the world hidden in myself, I am learning

that the love I’ve always felt. It isn’t something that

I can ever feel back. I am losing. But gaining

something else. Forever have I and will I be

giving pieces and bits of myself to those

surrounding me.  A kiss, a hug, a tidbit of my

soul wrapped in acrylic paint. I have spread

myself thin across those around me, and I am

weak here. Breaking here. Slowly anticipating the

end I know is coming.

 

 

 

Try to save me, I dare you.

Try to break this wall I’ve been building for

the entirety of my life and get close to me.

I accept this. Let me rot in the smell of dying

flowers I’ve never received, choke on a thousand

romantic dinners I’ll never devour.

Reviews

[a]

The distribution of ranks is interesting, rhythm fallows through and helps setting the mood, the character is very passionate and devoted to the moment he;s speaking of, I literally fell into the poem. Really touched me, outstanding, i think. The theme is serious, but this write is very light and unpredictable as it continues. I could feel that there definitely is something to find in this quietness. The wall doesn't seem to be uncrushable. I will wait for your next write!

[Pink Poison]

This is great! I like the allusion to spreading yourself too thin like paint...I like the way you move from a simple act (getting up in the morning) to something surprisingly unusual. I especially liked these lines:

I have spread
myself thin across those around me, and I am
weak here. Breaking here. Slowly anticipating the
end I know is coming.

And the last stanza is wonderful and moving...I dare you to keep writing ;)

[Staci Brown]

a sad write here. seems like you're giving up on yourself, yet still have a glimmer of hope that someone will come along, the keeper of the keys, unlocking the fortress of despair and hurt you've built around your heart. focus on that glimmer of hope hon.... it will happen!

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Scott Lynn]

Another beautiful piece of art. I enjoy reading your poetry. I'll see you this weekend.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I like the way you ended the last lines...Try to save me I dare you... Filled with raw emotions. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Phoenix Wolf-ray]

I like your rhythmic flow here, it has momentum. I can imagine you reading this aloud and having it work even better. And some of the imagery is quite powerful.

"Let me rot in the smell of dying
flowers I've never received, choke on a thousand
romantic dinners I'll never devour."

Nice.