Late night Banter.

This is something I wrote about 4 months ago, but really enjoy it.

I am cold, I am tired. Alone, and displeased to be so. Right now all I want to do is curl up next to you. To hear you play a song and fall sleep in your arms. I am lonely. I am going crazy. The razor blades in my dresser draw are calling out their solutions to my problems. Their pull is a little stronger than I can handle right now by myself. Please, some one come and rescue me. Anyone give me a reason to hold onto. My insanity is stomping around up in my head. I want to forget all of this. I am crying, and i don’t know why. I am hating myself, and want to rip everything out of me so I can stare at it lain on the table in front of me. I can not keep living the way I am going. Everything here reminds me that soon it will end and I’ll be all alone again.  I wish I still had pills, cause then I could just sleep a little. But lord do we know how that worked last time... f**k. I can’t take this. There is a pounding empty loud screaming silent killer living in my chest. my heart is my worst enemy. A battle is being fought in my chest cavity. I want to cut out what ever part of me is making me feel like this and watch it wither and die on the floor in front of me. I would give almost anything to not feel this, my left little toe you ask? Go ahead have it. My heart, its yours. My eyes, you can have them. I am tired of seeing all of my scars. I want to not be here by myself right now. I want to not feel like I will never see the sun again. I want to not feel so alone in my room, surrounded by silence and slightly too loud music. I want you here right now. I want anyone... someone. Please, I just... I can not take this emptiness that is filling me up. there has to be a black hole inside of me. Because no matter how happy I am when around people, it all is swallowed and erased as soon as I am alone.

 

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

phew, felt that before, girls get it soo bad too, i'm sorry, I get cha, ugh, lonelyness all encompassing, its terrifying. hey but at least you're talented!!!;) You made me feel.

As for critique, ive read 4 of your pcs, You can get sparser even and it would hit just that much harder, but its good reading, emotion, rememberance, spurring type reading. some of my favorite kind;)

[Wicahpi]

ahhh the pit of despair. i used to know that place very well. at times maybe I still do. i definately can relate to a "Late Night Banter"! I still have those...

Thank you for sharing your feelings. Some of us truly can comprehend.

[Laura E. Aranda]

This is so bluntly sad. I admit, you have guts to show such honesty. Wow. I don't know what to say. How sad and I wish somehow someone would help you by giving you that long over due noncommital hug that you so desparately long for........