part of me..

A Poem by grapefruit261

There r tyms when thinking bout urself n acting on that is the best thing to do but is d most difficult thing to do...

Part of me wants to grow up today
Part of me wants me to b over with u
It wants good things for me
D same old solitude vich was my source of serenity till yesterday
reminds me of my indecisiveness today
Part of me wants to stop thinking if all this strength of bng alone is worth it?
Part of me wants to reassure myself that Love n other such drugs were never my cup of tea
But today this know-it-all brain is clouded by doubts
The spark is just not enough anymore..
I want to part from u to b d old me again
Yet another part of me wants to b thr for u, evn if it aches so bad
The farther i drive u, the guiltier I feel to leave u alone
The more i account for points vich support y all this is good, the deeper i question myself on the very existence of those reasons
Part of me wants to decipher what these feeling r..
But knowing that giving them a name vil only worsten it for me
Here I am..
Letting this part of me live yet another day in confusion
So that when u leave tomorrow,
This part of me is not so shattered that it'll b scared to love or b loved anymore
So that it can still get d courage to stand up n collect all those broken parts and get them mended by sm1 who is not u..
So that it can still dream for a future I always hoped for myself, where I'll have sm1 to call mine!
Let me b Alone yet contended again, d way it always was..
Happy in its self created world whr ppl arrive to stay
N in d hope of bcoming that same blank sheet again..
Merging that part of me n this..
Bringing back d old me who would have never made a mistake of falling for someone like you
Let me b tht same person agn who had no expectations, hopes or demands of any1
D one who never had anything to lose to u..
Wid dis desire of better things for me in future
I want this part of me to die today
For if this part of me continues to live, it won't brng any good to anyone!
I want it to die so tht it could b born agn smday..
So tht it could b acknowledged gladly smday
Living the destiny it deserves
For sm1 who vil b glad to stay for me
For sm1 for whom love vil b a reason enuf!
For sm1 for whome I wont b just a replacement but a reason n companion to move forward with..