The Bad smell

the man next door :

A scream escaped

his ragged throat

a sob

a moan

he thought of Death

                 of God

                 of Love

                 of Life missed

                 of his lonely sad bedsit

                 that no one came to visit

                 the uncalled phone

                 his empty email

even the f*****g cat has gone, he

                                             laughed

                   and coughed up blood

                                        and bile

          drool drips from slipped lips

hand trembling, banging

                         against the floor

the spilt drink

just out of reach

in desperation mode

he sucked the carpet dry

        unable to move

         unable to die

his last thought as he shat himself ;

I hope the neighbours don't notice the 

                                                 smell

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This one is not your basic Ogden Nash. We are shown the last moments in the life of a recluse. Reminds me of something Philip Roth might have written. The man is having a stroke, with all the attendant pain and messiness of that affliction. Even as he lies on the floor, dying,a torrent of thoughts runs through his mind. Sounds like the life review that near death experiencers describe. The poem ends with a black comedic thought that sounds so outlandish that it could actually be true. Gram, you are reading too much Bukowski.

[gram linski]

thanks John, Life ain't no Ogden Nash, lol, appreciate your time in reading and reviewing, the Roth line is high praise, i haven't read Bukowski in 20 years but he did taint my innocence somewhat, thanks again,

[Beccy]

Perhaps if neighbours noticed the smell more; rather than self absorbing in this increasingly prevalent, modern day socially disconnected world, there would be far less of those last, lonely thoughts. For me, your line, 'that no one came to visit,' hits the hardest.

As Aristotle wisely observed, 'Man is by nature a social animal.'

Beccy.

[gram linski]

hey Beccy, thanks for reviewing aye I totally agree, there are many lost lonely people out there, and who knows one day we might be someone like that ourselves, thanks again for your time always appreciated

[barleygirl]

One of my longtime writing goals has been to write a poem as a spinoff to the Lynyrd Skynyrd song "That Smell" (which I love), but I haven't come up with anything remarkable yet. Here you've gone & beat me to it! I love the way "that smell" isn't prominent at first, but the scenario disintegrates into the bad smell at the end. There's always a bad smell at the end. And you've captured how rank it can be! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

hey, Margie, how you keeping, girl, I've just been listening to Skynard's that smell, great song, thanks as always for your great reviews, you always give me something to think about with your comments, even if it is wtf, sometimes, lol,

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Aw a cold dying man, makes me think of recent covid deaths, you captured the dying gasps and muse awesomely in a hardhitting chill to the bone way, the lonely setting and all. Kudos for this dire wry and woeful plight poem.

Plz pleez do read and comment my newest poem too, it's the top most one on my page.

[gram linski]

thanks for the great review, s, it was written a while ago but does seem to resonate in these sad times, the amount of lonely people out there just wanting someone to talk to, thanks for the visit,