the ennui of me

         the ennui of me

The culmination

of my Life's work

crumbles

into dust

sand between my toes

deadwood

in my headwood

lost butterfly wings

in ashes 

in flames

in the wind,

                   lost

                   butterfly wings

of the mind

and soul

acrid burnt dreams gone

but scarring brain

like Hiroshima shadows

on the wall

          the ennui of me

Reviews

[Eilis]

I find butterfly wings to be a powerful symbol. The delicacy of them. But, also, if they are left to themselves in some less hostile location they will be preserved for quite a long time. I know this because there are several butterfly specimens in my library at this very moment. We keep a nature cabinet and save specimens that we find that have already crossed over. No killing jars or anything. And yes, I said library. Ah. It looks quite pretentious when I write it, but we have an extra room and it has just been filled up with books. Proper names make everything seem more dignified, I suppose.

So, the butterfly wings. They are something beautiful and fragile, and their beauty perhaps makes them more vivid in our minds. Here they feel quite important because they feel like some lighter bits of the self that has been blown away. Could be creative bits or more substantial life memories or experiences that are slipping away. The sense of slipping is strong. And the sense that the space that is opened up by the loss of the softer thing will be filled with something darker/harder is also strong.

A burnt imprint remains. The brutality of the Hiroshima image makes the imprint feel harsh and painful. Thought that was stirring and effective. Again, you've bookended the poem with an evocative phrase. The burden of being. The way that line sits at the top and bottom of the poem it makes me think of Sisyphus. A painful futility. Or something like that.

Feel like this review isn't going the way I planned, so I'm going to leave off now. Of course, I agree with Jacob, though. Nothing boring about your poetry. But, everyday, I know, the light shifts on things in different ways. Good stuff, Gram.

[gram linski]

thanks Eilis, your great reviews always shine a light into the dark corners of my psyche, where my poetry resides, a painful futility is the way my ex used to describe my writing and my love making, lol, will mock yer liberry anon,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your work is far from boring, gram...no ennui in the writing...really like the "Hiroshima shadows on the wall"
the burnt dreams...some hope to be renowned writers....but we all dream...
and wake up feeling quite warm.
j.

[gram linski]

that will be the Duvet of Life trying to smother us in our sleep,