The Storming

Ask Thor

I twisted form and shadow

moulded them to my mind

I slipped on foreign bodies

and tangled deep inside,

I bled on new born snowflakes

I snowed on new found blood

I locked the darkness outside

and died and cried in mud

the rain was cleansing, drowning

the sun could not be found

the answers were not questioned

the lies were loud and proud

the contagion was infectious

the viral cloud complied

the stairway was deserted

the dispersed crowd, annoyed

the assassin lost the moment

the bullet burned and burned

the mood was not forgotten

the wind blew fragments skywards

the sky declined to turn

the sunset never settled

and the moon ...

… ye godz, the moon

                               forgot to shine...

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love twists & contrasts, but this one is exquisitely crafted:
"I bled on new born snowflakes
I snowed on new found blood"
I want to NOT see politics in everything these days, but it's hard not to, with the stinging contagions & nasty viruses you refer to. I think it was Lorry the other day who asked: "where are all the assassins?" in reference to how some shoddy leadership needs to be terminated, on our side of the pond, for sure. Damn I love a poem that shoots me into the shadows. I love how you paint nature imagery both beckoning & haunting (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

Thanks Margie, we do indeed live in strange troubled times, you would think the C.I.A. would have a back up plan like the good ole days but they seem to be enjoying the puppetry of tiny hands trump

[barleygirl]

When not reacting to the madness over here, I sometimes wonder how anyone could have a more teensy self-centered world view!?!?! (your "tiny hands puppetry" comment seems to magnify his woeful smallness)

[Chris Shaw]

Hello gram. Rhythm and rhyme and this poem rattled along at a speedy pace. Found myself in a very dark tunnel with no sign of light. That's how it is for some people. I am reminded to count my blessings. You speak for those people who find themselves on the dark side of the moon. Great dark imagery and a feeling of despair here.

Chris

[gram linski]

Hey Chris, you dancin', soundtrack Pink Floyd, lol, if you are ever in a tunnel with no sign of light, it's probably a cave, just saying, haha,

[Chris Shaw]

Saw a tribute act recently. Love Pink Floyd. Yeah, my dark tunnels usually have a bit of light at the end of Em. Yours clearly don't. You take dark tunnels to a new dimension. They are black holes :)

[gram linski]

Aye but what lies on the other side of the sky? there be dragons, let's go,lol,

[Einstein Noodle]

"...it was a dark and stormy night" (Snoopy) :) .....this jumped at me gram:
"I bled on new born snowflakes
I snowed on new found blood" ... there is a particular justified balance in that ... so human ... when the poem switches to "the" repetitions for me the pace picked up ....the tensions mounting ... not a fan of "ye godz, ... " it kind of trivialized an important internal struggle .. hate the closing .. i am an optimist and just must have happy ever after ;) seriously though ..a dark journey .. relatable says i .. what human who lives can not meet "The Storming"
E.

[gram linski]

Thanks E, as for happy endings, the fact that the moon forgot suggests it's more likely to remember the next day, unless it has dementia, then what do we do, lol, hope you didn't take let them eat blood serious, it was a playful homage,

[Einstein Noodle]

ahhhhhhh the dementia moon :)))))))))))))) what a unique perspective that is eh!? she appears, disappears then re-appears ... on cue .. every time .. oh what terror it would be if She missed a beat .. i don't see where there is "..let them eat blood" .. certainly an implication of vampire in the lines i thought were super impactfull .. in those lines there is brutal honesty and acceptance of responsibility for all our actions .. as we search inside .. at least that's how i take it ...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"the assassin lost the moment" just as the potential lover might let the moment of truth pass...
the bullet of approach remains in the chamber...
and there was no moon...as he slithered away...the assassin and/or the lover.
j.

[gram linski]

thanks, j. always enjoy your poetic insightful reviews