NIN

tHE LUST FOR LIFE

left me,  bereft me,

passed me by and disappeared

from view, and stranded

in the norm, the workaday

bullshit blues

I sink and drown every

f*****g day

and toss and turn

every unwelcome night

and write -

The essence of the Anger poems

is the anger, of course,

it threatens to explode

any minute of every minute

barely contained within my skin

it drip drip drips

like a fucked old faucet

pooling like freshly drawn blood

at the bottom of my soul,

the poems, the caustic wordage

that can't contain my brain

live in the damp and the dark

grow stronger, multiply

a viral infestation, airborn

on the mosquito wings of ink

                                        and pain

but ephemeral  elemental primal rain

the real  love of broken bones

and bleeding lips

and gentle knife wounds

(in the night)

is a joyous thing

as Trent Reznor sang

one sunny day

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Not familiar with your musical references, but reading Eilis' review about "Downward Spiral" -- this is a perfect description of the storyline in your poem! Being bipolar myself, I do a mean downward spiral & you've just about hammered this process into a jagged specimen, as it can truly feel sometimes! I almost never write about the blackness I've often felt, but if I ever did try to, I would wish to be able to express it this powerfully! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

thanks Margie, you just did in an awesome freeverse, as a jagged specimen who never writes about the blackness, you don't do it incredibly well, release the rhyme (for a while) and give it some freestyle, baby,l

[barleygirl]

The more neurotic I am, the more incessantly I rhyme. Maybe I'll try to calm down & do some free verse *smile*

[barleygirl]

OK! I dived into it prior to mainlining my usual pot of morning coffee . . .

[gram linski]

can't wait wink wink

[Eilis]

The last NIN album I had was Downward Spiral. Played on repeat just like Pretty Hate Machine, but I just read up on ol’ Trent and see that he’s released some new stuff. I’ll have to explore. See, I’m a mom now, wearing mom jeans and listening to folk rock or my husband’s Modest Mouse love-affair, so I’m waiting for my kids to get old enough to learn me about music again.

I do still have the old CD’s though. I’ll listen to them occasionally when I need to remind myself what my teens and twenties were like.

I did see him in concert once and I’ll never forget the game he played with his stage guy who had to run across stage and pick up his microphone stand every time he threw it on the ground. He put on a great show. Had tickets to the first Lollapalooza which had my most coveted line-up ever (including NIN) but my mom decided to be tough that day and grounded me. Still don’t think I’ve forgiven her, ha ha.

Anyway. Your poem. I was enchanted by the idea of mosquito wings of ink. That image is developing in my head. The delicacy beside the reality of an insect that can only live by feeding on the blood of others.

There’s a lot of soft/heavy image (idea) combos that I find compelling in the poem. The world being a thing that creates and destroys. Your poem makes me think of the idea that we may or may not have a choice in how we approach that dichotomy. I waver in my feeling on the subject.

You’re great at the art of (poetry) darkness, Gram.

[gram linski]

why thank you, I thought this was quite an upbeat wee number, tell your kids to spotify "The Fragile/Halo 14, With teeth, and further down the spiral, all great trent lullaby's

[gram linski]

and as for Lollapalooza, you know you should have...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

S**t have you not discovered 'No More Nails' yet?

[gram linski]

got banned for bringing hammers on to the premises, same as Witherspoons,

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wit you banging on about noo?

[Eilis]

I did have Further Down the Spiral, forgot about that one. I’ll check those others out. And, yeah, I know I should’ve gone. I need to get to work on my time machine so I can go back and do it right.

[gram linski]

TTFN Thank the f*****g Nordic ….


… Viking soul

[gram linski]

you could also reality feed youtube, or something, and then go back to the one with The Jesus and Mary chain, invited head liners by sir Perry himself, check out never understand and vegetable man

[Eilis]

Oh, I love Jesus and Mary Chain, yeah. If I get my time machine I’ll just go back and see them all. I guess YouTube is an ok alternative.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Was never into such heavy music, more of an Eagles fan myself. James Taylor too. Despite that soft side I too rage in the night and the day and put my words in rusty razor vibrations upon parchment. Still I enjoyed this rant.

[gram linski]

Thanks John, you should check out the groovy sounds of Dogshit sandwich, actual band, I kid you not,

[Robert Trakofler]

Anger is an energy from Johnny Rotten comes to mind after reading this:) I have some rage issues too and I can bottle it up at times... i got that McCoy feud gene I’m related to the McCoy’s of the infamous Hatfield and McCoy feud:/ that’s why I had to quit drinking for a long time got into too many fights in my youth:( I really should try to express my anger in write lest my head explodes:) I think I’m so hung up about never showing my anger I gravitate away from poetic expressions... I liked this very much maybe it has a lesson in it for me

[gram linski]

the lesson is to let your head sxplode then write dadaesque poems in the pulp, sadly the Hatfield/McCoy feud didn't reach these shores, cheers B,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the imagery here...and yes, poems of angst are so necessary to us...if we didn't have them we would totally explode..."the real love of broken bones"
and the knife wounds....we have to love the adversity, at least within our poetry...embrace it...
others want to read from someone who has been there and knows the worst.
j.

[gram linski]

kind word j. the worst is relative but I get what you mean, feel free to embrace what ever madness you can glean from this sad drunken pen,

[PaintedBirdy]

nice. i've thought about writing nine inch nails fan-fiction too. basically just stories of trent going around doing heroin and every day is exactly the same. can't go wrong with NIN. and he's usually sober in concert. unlike Sun Kill Moon who was drunk as hell and singing christmas songs. wtf.

[gram linski]

good to hear from another NIN fan, starfucker live, is f*****g awesome, would like to read your "day in the life of..."

[PaintedBirdy]

man, i wish i couldve heard starfucker live!

[gram linski]

you're in luck, dude, it's on youtube,