The Shadow

Dead eye pretending

to feel

the force

with whispered

ease and comfort

acting scenes

with comic farce 

this script

needs rehearsing

conveying worlds

in choice few words

Oscar nomination 

blank expression

painted in

coloured rainbow smile

a mould upon

my empty bones

changing

with the tide

spoken beauty

filled in voices

background noise to hum

time to dance

in Josephs coat 

and play the lovers friend

empty seed

as I leave

make up still untouched

leave the facade

by the bed

slip into the night

instead,

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

A great little write this gram. A truly visual poem, performed on stage for me the viewer. That's how well this scenario played out.You captured it brilliantly. Well done. Exit the stage through the door marked failed relationships but not before taking a bow.

Chris

[gram linski]

don't know what the emoji is for taking a bow, but consider me bowed, lol

[Robert Trakofler]

this conveyed a slight sense of unease in fact i had to go back to this one to make sure i wasn't projecting into the words a bit, but no it has the feel of it. my morbid mind sees the word shadow and i'm instantly cast into the ghostly mind of my musings. But now i see it as the unspoken shadows of presence in a connection severed by whom isnt clear but it is a subtle difference and a very palpable sensation in this write

[gram linski]

Aplus for your in depth insightful review, B, loved the line about unspoken shadows, now I will have to read it again through new improved eyes, I always get a sense of unease when I read my poems too, lol,

[Robert Trakofler]

oh my gram so do I

[Neville]

Now this is what we wanna see, or rather read.. summat to really get me teeth into and contemplate at leisure... I see love soured and the players lost .. disorientated and kinda shell shocked I suppose .. just as it can be in real life terms.. a bril poem here my friend and once again, I aint talking fish..... Neville

[gram linski]

cheers Neville, there was no just it was real, and as for the fish, I genuinely don't have a scooby doo, hope it's a good thing, lol

[Neville]

Brill or as they are also known scophthalmidae are a family of flatfish found in the North Atlantic Ocean, Baltic Sea...

[gram linski]

so is that a good thing ? ...

[Neville]

it is also an abbreviated version of brilliant.. so essentially yes..

[Eilis]

Somehow the first image I got when I finished reading this was a monk. I'm not sure where that came from, must be some subliminal thing on my end.

There is a definite sense of self-imposed isolation, though, but perhaps in that state the speaker isn't as aware of the impact of his own desires of his state of aloneness. Made me think of unrequited love. I think that may be where the monk image is coming in for me. My mind is conjuring up a story of a man who cannot pursue love because of his lifestyle even though he feels something deeply. And so he acts the part of the trusted friend or advisor in lieu of that intimacy he wishes for.

Definitely some psychic pain there, but only indulging in when alone. I don't know. I think I've just made up my own story, haha. I am visiting after a night of very little sleep, so there is a bit of the dream state melodrama still clinging.

I really like the detail of the coat of many colors, and how that seems to thread through the poem to feather out the dichotomy between reality and what is acted out.

[gram linski]

Melodramatic and sleep deprived, haha, you definitely took the poem in a nice wee tangent, it was far simpler than that, , a man, a woman, her lover, the slightly disinterested lover was the shadow, I do like the monk idea,

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A flowing freeverse account of love gone bad. You take us through the role play, the dance of death as two former lovers ease away looking for the door.

[gram linski]

Cheers John, there was a door and we weren't easing away, we were thrusting forwards, but it was the last great f**k known to man

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes in relationships the script has turn cold, but we still try to say our lines and act with intent to show sincerity...when in fact, we want to be in a different play, acting with a different co-star...
And we might do it so well, we could contend for one of those statues.
j.

[gram linski]

Thanks, j. acting out scenarios well thumbed and well read is always easier than diving into the unknown,