Hey Gram...This is written in such a great sing song voice but is in lovely contrast just a gut wrenching subject well penned and lovely lament great rhythm and rhyme and fantastic emotion expressed damn good writing here
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
High praise indeed from a man of your talents, thanks, B. was actually a song once upon a go, for ba.. read moreHigh praise indeed from a man of your talents, thanks, B. was actually a song once upon a go, for bass line see below,
Won't you come out, Gram...I love the word melancholy...conveys so much more than sad...and waves have a power that can knock you a*s over tipple cart...as me old grandad used to say.
A brilliant write.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thanks Ted, melancholy is not only deeper than sad it's also harder to type, lol,
That melancholy wave takes a long time to perfect.
Just when you think the sea is out, it comes straight back in.
Good times ahead for tomorrows people.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Good times ahead for a bunch of seventies, peado sci fi freaks, you need help, friend, not my help .. read moreGood times ahead for a bunch of seventies, peado sci fi freaks, you need help, friend, not my help obviously, someone else's, lol,
What sadness is detected here. A truly melancholic write gram and written in rhyme and stanzas. Hopefully those waves of melancholy will wash away soon. This one almost got me tearful.
Chris
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
There is an old Chinese saying; *May your house be free of tigers,*, no wait a minute, *All things w.. read moreThere is an old Chinese saying; *May your house be free of tigers,*, no wait a minute, *All things will change,* that's the good thing about a wave it ebbs and flows comes and goes, cheers Chris,
A pensive sadness writ in rhyme. A sensitive call out for thee Sir gram AND in rhyme. I stand impressed and fall to the agony of one so trapped in misery as you portray.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Cheers John, it started life as a song, although you might think the one is trapped, he knows all th.. read moreCheers John, it started life as a song, although you might think the one is trapped, he knows all things are fluid and it's only just a wave,
good s**t. the only thing that caught my attention was the british spelling of "colour" rather than the popular american "color". i was always taught to write like a populist, haha, and to avoid being figured out where i'm from. cheers, mate, i love bits of sad poetry.
Don't think American is populist anywhere, thanks to potus, cheers yerself, mate,
5 Years Ago
well, i mean populist as in cultureless bland writing accessible to masses, like Taylor Swift. cheer.. read morewell, i mean populist as in cultureless bland writing accessible to masses, like Taylor Swift. cheers before beers!
5 Years Ago
Then that definitely is the united states of the greatest of A,
This is exceedingly depressing...which is probably the purpose...i am swept away by the wave not sure if it is the ocean, or tears.
As i read this i was humming "Just ask the lonely" by the Four Tops.
i like the consistency in the stanzas...the repetition drives home the sadness.
j.
Thanks j. the repetition is because these are song lyrics, there is a bass line, if you're intereste.. read moreThanks j. the repetition is because these are song lyrics, there is a bass line, if you're interested, lol
5 Years Ago
I can see that...love bass....
thanks for the heads up.
Caged In An Animal's Mind
Caged in an animal's mind;
No wish to be more or else
Than I am; a smile and a grief
Of breath that thinks with its blood,
Yet straining despite; unsure
In my stir .. more..