REGRETS ?

The  blade sliced the flesh and

the sharp breath of pain became

a tangible thing again,

the blood flowed freely,

it would not stop,

Ah the irony,

cause of death : Feeling

The knife marks upon my skin

speak of darker things

to come;

Reviews

[Eilis]

The last stanza speaks of despair, but after reading I thought—perhaps the marks and their ability to heal; the fact of their healing spoke of something more profound than simple darkness.

The release of self-harm is temporary, but the automatic healing that follows (if the act isn’t taken too far) is symbolic of our own ability to persevere and heal. The mind and body fight and fight to keep in the moment so they can move into the next moment, and this is the miracle of life itself playing out.

So the darkness has its moment, but it is temporary just as the sun-up hours are temporary, but both continually return. The knife as tool for emotional balance—for tangibility— is a stirring and sad idea, but it also shows, in this poem anyway, that the mind is still reaching and seeking light.

Maybe a weird way of envisioning the bleakness of dull, continuous psychic pain, but hope can be found between even the blackest trunks on a moonless night, if hope is what we’re seeking.

A tough read, but also, the ghost of better things to come floats among the lines. For me anyway.

[gram linski]

hey Eilis, think the darker things to come was about how far you can fall before you see the light, and that idea where the only thing that makes you feel ends up being the one that kills you that pain and pleasure thing, you always see a little more deeply than I do and I appreciate your insightful reviews, thanks again

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Sounds like NHS/social care cuts to me bro! No competition!

[gram linski]

Free facial reconstruction doon the Brigate, sniffing heroin off Stanley blades, only on a Saturday, mind you,

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah shame can't make Saturday!

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks for this good entry into my competition, good luck, very moving

[gram linski]

Thanks for reviewing, there is no luck, only you, lol hope it was moving enough, keep up the comps, I like the challenge

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ok 👌 I’ll try

[Shazbatt969]

Ah, the cold feel of steel, zen like in it's satori, a great poem about disfunctia and dispraxia

[gram linski]

HaHa, possibly echopraxia, and nothing more, cheeky f****r

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Talking to yer sel again!

[gram linski]

Talking backwards in the mirror to the clowns, you loof

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah! Those clowns have such engaging smiles.

[Katsura]

Very good! It has a lot of emotion and a very unique meter. One suggestion I would make is to change "breathe" to "breath" as I believe that is what you meant.

[gram linski]

Glad you liked it, Katsura, thanks for the spell check

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You mean F**k o** laddie!

[gram linski]

You get f*****g everywhere, my stalker ex wife, I will shoot you on sight and slip an unread un written invisible poem up yer c..t for all to read,cheers

[Ghost writer]

it's good, I do like it, I don't feel like it's over though, seems like there should be something more. thanks for the suggestion, and for reading my stuff