ON THE EDGE

B*****D

WINE SOAKED MIND

LET ME FREE

PEACE OF THOUGHT IN PAIN

EASED UNCONCIOUS

INTO

CEMENT MIX TUNNEL VIEW

CORRIDORS OF

RAIN FILLED VOICE

SMOKING THROUGH THE 

HAIR LIKE BENDS

DOWN HILL SLIDE TIME

CLOSING

CLOSER

RANDOMNESS

QUIETLY SANE

AND CRUMBLING

BRICKWORK

CATCHES TEETH

POCKETS

SEALED

OR STOLEN

HEADACHE NOW

AND BROKEN

DAMAGED

DAMAGED

INTO SPACE

Reviews

[Eilis]

This poem feels like a conundrum to me. There is the b*****d wine which seems an easing factor, but also, a kind of realization implicit within the dialogue that that solution creates other problems in need of addressing and the addressing is impossible because of the initial solution. It's a bit like a maze with no actual exit. Perhaps that is how the minotaur felt--he was part human after all, and must have had some human thought and feeling.

The way you've formatted this in the all-caps scream could be interpreted a couple of ways. Is it a metaphorical scream into the darkness. Or is it a list of things where everything presents the same and the speaker and the reader alike must sort out where the actual meaning and message converge.

There are some interesting conflicts that further this line of thought for me. Quietly sane and eased unconscious alongside the cement mix tunnel view and the crumbling brickwork. Perhaps there is the framework of self-deception that is being worked out, or the ways we try to tell ourselves that things that are hurting us are actually helping us. Whatever it is, there is both awareness and avoidance. Fear and hope. Freedom and incarceration. Sometimes the tightest spaces are the ones we forge for ourselves.

I'm probably mostly talking about myself. But, I do always appreciate the human-feeling encounter I find on your page. There is this darkness and pain, and then the light trying to break through the crumbling structure. Here is to hoping the light is the ultimate winner.

[gram linski]

thanks, Eilis, one of my personal faves for some reason, was probably a scream into the darkness, aye, fear and hope, the foundations of life, lol, always appreciate your insightful reviews

[Gee]

I read both of you then I read your reviews of each other AND I still haven't a scooby as to what the kin ell you are both on about :)
Fick me I suppose

[gram linski]

join the club, dude, haha, how's things going in Sainsbury land

[Gee]

All good in MK.
Wife up to Ayreshire Thurday visiting family

[Shazbatt969]

On the edge of the zone of avoidance, looking outwards, looking in, scary and intense, ever tried having a joint or two, lol