The Fourth

I'll give you space, to molest my words,

to Windex the counter while I'm away,

to

skip an extra line and take unnecessary

space. I'll show not tell: scan back four lines,

what do you see? Please

reflect my art right back at me.

My art? How pompous! Please, may I join your emerald estate?

If I can, I'll play hide and go seek with the 'art' that I hate.

 

Dictionary junkie, thesaurus princess, with

sharpened sword of wordy winces,

just how blunt till it convinces

royal busts to bearing witness?

 

If talent is the golf ball at the bottom of the pond,

then rhyme schemes bubble up like the wasted gasps of koi,

and if the golf is mini and if you know the course,

then does a perfect score denote a pro or

aqueous commerce? That word of

mine almost made me gag, but so, so many vowels!

 

The nagging version number three

of the self-obsessed and jealous me,

whispers verse into my ear and rows a canoe down

the Suez Canal, where I've never-

but did you catch that, the ear canal reprise,

or did the auditory sense incense your eyes?

 

Mommy all I ever wanted was to be a clever clover,

but the fourth voice never came to tell me that

I was, and Dad's Range Rover never drove into

the Charles River on the way to school, so my

skull remained intact, and I always got a hole in one,

but only on the first hole.

'If it's space -ah, yes - some space that you

request,' my civil Dad might appeal to my civil Mom-

 

'In a World... where Confederacy Fried Chicken booms

in business' -

 

if that civility

gave us time to breathe, then maybe

reading would

relieve

the tension of

chewed up fourth grade sleeves, and

piles and piles of auburn leaves, and, oh,

the Frost! and the ones unread,

the headless poet, roams undead,

and scarlet fevers, faces, 'marmalade delusions'

allude to gibberish intrusions.

 

So, kindly, if my tour-de-force

implores you to recheck your course,

and preachy self-reflexive sludge

provides a firm and friendly nudge

to vacant worlds, 'In a World... without Adverbs'

that voice resounds, 'In a World.... where writing

can sound like a voice, In a World.... where

pollution is a matter of choice, In a World....' where

repeating, restating is fleeting,

where distilling absolves, where invention grows on sassafras,

and the passive voice is tiptoed off the face

of the mother, mother earth, mother, really,

and Dr. Freud inhales his hearth

and gets very, very sleepy, and the voices

count back from silent four,

to three, two, to one, and snap, and-

 

a pinstriped quartet on a hazed August day, the

crumples of pamphlets and caramel cores, the

brown grass-patched border surrounding the grandstand,

the flora,  just corporate

compared to the reeds and the sleeves

of the children that play see-saw games

and dart in between the grey folding chairs,

the parents remarried and carried away

by the cacophony of picnicking chaos,

blithe in regard to the masters at hand,

the fugue and the fusion of sounds with the band-

 

all this, and much more, is at your command,

and until I can find the fourth leaf to count

I leave you with me in my

spacious amount.

Reviews

[AYVID N]

When I reviewed this writing, I did not think it about anyone in particular but about all that's gone bad with writing, general. That was not the intention of my review. I appreciate Thaddius' writing, he being a very talented, masterful writer with a style all his own, as is very evident in this write.

I apologize if I have hurt anyone's sentiments. It was not my intention at all.

[Thaddius]

Jeeze Divya. I don't see why you have to apologize for anything. You gave me a review. Even if my poem was the political attack it was construed as - it is not - you are in no way responsible for the content, in no way automatically tied to the alleged views of the material. That's like saying if I applaud Obama's rhetorical style, I am a proponent for universal healthcare. There is appreciation, and there is activism, and the immediacy with which the one became entwined with the other is of concern in this virtual state. I'd like anyone who reads this to reflect on that, for a moment.

[AYVID N]

Of course Thaddius. I wholly agree with your views.

When I read the other reviews later I was disturbed a bit.

Soon coming to your today's release with more feedback.

[Jack...]

I agree with Kublakhan 100%. Inside jokes about another writer on this site. That makes this poem a piece of garbage in my eyes. And I see another below snickering along with you. How dare you, do you think you own these words? It would be a shame if you did because you sure don't know how to use them. And you have the gall to send me PM's basically begging me to read your work. Time to grow up a little. People read you if you are good...period. And I would suggest you take this trash down before you get more comments like this.

[s y e]

So, I am gonna rip you one because you have totally humiliated a friend of mine and I do not like that. I have also reported this to the moderators. I do not appreciate you writing about someone dear to me like this, there is no need for it. If you want to rant and humiliate someone take it to facebook or some other stupid site like this. Here, we write about poetry, by all means write about someone here but not in this disgusting manner. People like you - someone who can humiliate a fellow poet - disgust me and believe me, we don't need this here.

I am appalled and think what you have done is shocking. It has totally changed the way I read you and even see you as a person. I don't give you a rating at all, to be honest.

[Thaddius]

I must preface this by stating that this comment is directed towards all the reviews in the vein of indignation. I am a curious blend of jolted and flattered. I truly regret the 'smear' that this showed up as, because there was no conscious effort to do anything of the sort.

The poem sprawls in a jesting, expansive take on writing, my experiences with my own as well as my peers'. So much of the subject was me, the headless poet, me, the self-obsessed, jealous poet, me, the knocks at hypotheticals and repetition and wordiness, knocks at my own work as much as playful jabs at others'. There are lots of thesaurus princesses, and princes.

I do address the politics of the site, and do allude to one specific moment, which I didn't think anyone would remember! I may have let my ego carry me away in that exchange, however, I stand by the sentiment of an honest review in such a flood of flattery and distortion. The plagiarism itself was a teensy crack I had to exploit. I suppose my hostility could never come out sweet, no matter how much marination and poise I carried off. I apologize to your friend; recognize her ability, although I sadly cannot view her work while logged in.

The larger realm that this poem addresses seems lost on those who view the entirety through the lens of a pinpointed allusion. It's disappointing to hear petty notes in these reviews, but from your vantage, not unwarranted. It's even sadder that my work comes across as a broad attack, because that is just a misinterpretation. It's an absurdist piece about writing and my place in it.

I can say that I am tickled by the effect that this has had. These playful disses play like hate crimes, and I can't help but glow and think of one of my heroes, Eminem, who was so colossally misunderstood in songs like 'The Real Slim Shady'. Most of the critics despised him, and some will never forgive him. I don't expect you to forgive me. I really don't. I also hope you don't expect me to take this down. That's censorship. If the mods tell me to take it down, I'll be forced to. So those reading, pay attention!

[kublakhan27]

Rating: zero, because 1) It's about a friend of mine who does not warrant such humiliation 2) this is a pretty good rant and a pretty good public smear campaign, but not so great a poem and 3) you're actually the one who comes across as pretentious for looking down on someone's poetic voice because it doesn't line up with your own. These are not the reasons for which this site exists.

[AYVID N]

Wow! If molesting of words and windexing of counters is on then scanning and putting it up must also be. This is brilliance...in a single solid stroke. Loved the princess and the wordy winces.

Then comes the best...the talent golfball. I agree soundly about the size of the ball and the nature of commerce!

Loved also the headless poet and the scarlet fevers. A whopping yes for description of the vacant world where Dr. Freud gets very very sleepy. I hope the friendly nudge works, but then again I have my reservations about that. With so much at stake, lets hope they bite the bait.

I was in splits. Such a fun read and so so very clever. A roaring thumping applause for this write.

I sure hope you find that fourth leaf soon

[Thaddius]

I read this as I scroll the window down, to block the blurbs above. I woke up this morning to your lovely review and enthusiasm, and it lifted me right out of bed. I'm grateful that you can appreciate this piece, whatever it may and not be, and even gladder that you appreciate the tone. Lightness. Humor, absurdist wit. Probably some rash mistakes. As I read this under a single sheet, I thought of a rundown pool hall on the fringes of the city, wafting with seedy smoke, the green felt frayed and curling up on a corner of the table. Only you were inside, and it felt like home, a sole friend pouring such effusion, so much purer than the smoke. When I read the above, my first image was of sharks circling this hall. I will address that with maturity, am well aware that we are all overgrown bleeding kids at heart, but will not apologize for my image. What comes must rise, more than alliances and brownie points and censorship. Thanks for shooting pool with me, my friend

[AYVID N]

I agree...what comes must rise. Art must be expressed. And this poem is very much art. You are most welcome dear friend. Thanks for the unique touch of your pen and all the inspiration!

[AYVID N]

Oh...this is just fantastic + fabulous! Fantabulous! I was stumped and bowled over at the first read itself. Wait! I am not done. I am coming back with more feedback on this mind blowing piece as soon as I can finish offline duties!