Lying In Bed

I was a boy in bed once, bundled in thought.

The purples and maples of late autumn leaves

would dance at the back of my neck as I’d breathe,

and I’d grasp at the breezes that couldn’t be caught.

 

I’d play back the shadows of the coming of age,

and flip through a novel in a drowsy mind’s eye

to the bare branched white tones of the very last page,

and not steady the passing as much as I’d try.

 

In an onslaught rebirth of powder and rain

I’d burrow in bed and try yet again, but

 

a saber of ice at my window would drip

and liquids collected in pools at the sill, so

I began to observe the breadth of this trip and

how waters will melt independent of will.

 

I’d sweat in a fit and dream a new book

where six months had passed and I’d be quite the same,

looking in bed as far as I looked,

in a blanket that wrapped all the places I came.

 

And six months would pass, and six, and six more

and I’d plug in in my bed to that fantasy lore.

 

Now, on titanium paper, far-off and serene

 I let rustling air play over my ear, and

imagine the boy who’s lying in bed

and inventing the man who’s

standing right here.

Reviews

[Blue]

A captivating write flooding with sweet sentiments. Truly, simply beautiful, Thaddius. You have a way with words and emotions. Well done!

[Cyndi Goodgame]

Wow! Inventing our own image, much less how we are and what we want, is never easy. Great job of reminding me of that.

I loved the poem, the imagery, the affect it had. Thanks, :)

[Elina]

I don't know how I missed this marvelous poem of yours, but somehow I did. Golly, it's wonderful. I might even go so far as to say it's my favourite of your poems. Truly splendid. Each word chosen was perfect, the imagery was incredible, and the "story" of it was so relatable. This was beautifully done.

[Thaddius]

Thanks so much. I'm glad you stumbled upon it.

[stars are far]

I loved this piece, especially the first stanza , filled with images ...
well done :)

[Demii]

This is beautifully written, and as Greig said quite alot of depth covered here, Good red. :)

[Greig McShield]

Quite a lot of depth you have covered here and it is all good. You skillfully explain how the boy copes with the coming of age, the contrasting point you open up is where the boy becomes a man, as this is always a difficult and trying time for the youth, because, inevitably with the loss of childhood the boy/man stuggles to regain his role and place within the new birt has it eventually develops into the maturity of the adult male. The final stanza is wonderfully composed...and encapsulates the whole essence of that change.

"Now, on titanium paper, far-off and serene I let rustling air play over my ear, and imagine the boy who’s lying in bed and inventing the man"

[Kimberly Wolke]

This is simply beautiful. The imagery is dead on and very deep. One of my favorite writes so far on this site.

[Thaddius]

thanks so much!

[Jessica]

Well I automatically fell in love with this poem. I pictured a perfect autumn scene with leaves in slow motion blowing around a young teenage boy. I thought this was beautiful, I can't stop seeing a perfect scene. You're an amazing writer, I'd love to read more or your poems.

[Thaddius]

I'm so glad the 'perfect scene' got stuck in your head! thanks for the sweet words

[Claire in VA]

Well, Thaddius. I enjoyed the read.

Nice first line to capture the reader.
The word "bundled" makes me think the narrator is a baby.
I absolutely love "the purples and maples." Those words flow beautifully.
The "PLES" in both are pleasant to my ear and feel nice to my palate.

The middle of the poem tells of the journey through childhood.
I like the noun "saber." Strong!
Nice description of time passing.

The end result is the grown man....
both actor and poet.

It is full circle in that it begins with autumns breezes
and returns to rustling air.

Very good.

I'd give it an A+.

~Claire :)

[Thaddius]

thanks for the kind review! glad you liked it

[Creativemama]

Wow this is really good. I don't care for most poetry. I really like this piece. It creates a picture and follows through with the story without losing the reader. Thanks. This is good.

[Thaddius]

haha you know what, I don't care for most 'poetry' either. There's something innocent about rhyme when its pulled off, and thats what I wanted to do with this. glad I kept you focused, thanks for the review