A Shameless Poem

sometimes I lose my nerve, and other times...

I'm not festive or the shameless type.

I show up late to Christmas and let

wishes spoil on my tongue.

Crinkled, immature, this one

Follows me by moonlight on a 

Flat white acid trail.

I listen for the spooning pools 

of its heels and toes

but know no other proof

of where it goes.

Now

It's been a while 

since a rustle and

Electric panic strikes 

each muscle.

 

Yes, of course

The stalker is generic- but so is death!

And the distance of your words much worse

 

 

I wish

I was the one to track you down in

A marmalade hallucination, but it seems that

When Diana dips I

Lose the place of our Oasis, and pace

an endless silver circle where

Christmas never comes.

My wish

Rises up like winter's breath 

so I can't breathe, and as it leaves and I

crumple on my knees and ripple outwards 

in a theatric sigh, my

body freezes in a 

bow - my love! - to how I 

die

Author's Note

I wrote a poem on Valentines day... then I tinkered with it over and over..

Reviews

[Domo]

Very nice and relieving. It characterizes a mood many of us know too well.

[Thaddius]

glad you found it relieving and universal

[Catlen]

It has a nice flow and you kept my attention till the end. Well Done!

[Thaddius]

thanks a bunch!

[Karci Clest]

Shook up wow doing this on my phone is hard!

[Karci Clest]

Its very creative. Artistic. I love the way u used the words. U just tired anything up inside me.

[Thaddius]

i wish i could have tired it up, that would be a feat. my next poem is going to called Raving, and it will explore insanity through the lens of MDMA and trance culture, and leave your spine so parched you can only walk on hands and knees like a club-rat! Just kidding - but it could work, right?

[Karci Clest]

yeah absolutely! You're giving me shivers just thinking about it.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I must tell you, you have a way of guiding me through your words..

I like your style of writing, it's nomadic the way you convey love...
I find myself roaming through your mind, where "shameless" has a place in the moonlight...

The "Flat white acid trail" may have hit your panic button, but what a journey!...the sweetest wish, of "marmalade hallucinations"...NICE!

"Rises up like winter's breath, and for leading me,
My love, I bow."~The icing on the cake!...I enjoyed the ending, very much...!

~Robbie~xoxo~:)

[Thaddius]

thanks - I changed it a lot, so if you really have no life, check the updated version out

[emmajoy]

An adventure into love words, maybe.. a little stuck in the 'marmalade hallucination' or, perhaps, a pause in how to express feelings that truly tremble in their meaning. Seems distance dilutes or magnifies in erratic intensity.

[Thaddius]

thanks. yes distance does 'dilute and magnify in erratic intensity'! I think you summed me up, I view things from the wrong end of a telescope, sometimes the far out bay but then I land on sun! - and it blinds me and I'm scorched. It's that distance, that 'otherness', the solipsism that I strive for - by providing an alien slice of my mind and watching as the masses cough and sigh in intervals, much as I did but so so differently. Without confusion my poetry would hover in zero gravity, and what fun is a hunt if the animal's all but dead and floating in the air?

I rewrote this so would appreciate what you think - its better.

[emmajoy]

Sometimes, however, less is more when it comes to touching minds and emotions. Plus, sometimes, just sometimes, tinkering can dilute initial inspiration. Perhaps?

[Thaddius]

could be. I prefer this one though

[Dhaye]

"my love, I bow to you for leading me."
Really a shameless poem, T. But it's alright to be shameless when it's about your love one.
Well-done!

[Thaddius]

thanks - reworked this

[Avril Zombie]

I love it. I'm not really a large fan of poems, really, but you've managed to capture my attention! Congrats.

[Thaddius]

I'm very glad for it.