Joking

We joked about it a lot

Then we became they
And they joked about it 
There were times when the truth was greater than the laughter
And those times were becoming more frequent
I didn't know how to handle it
And that upset me
My inability to change the human mind
It frustrated me
That frustration died out into worry
Worry that filled me 
Like water in my lungs
And a sedative in my blood 
Panic without action
Drowning without being able to fight back
And I stopped sleeping
Restlessness taking over
An overactive mind wandering on its own
And I couldn't just close my eyes and drift away
Because I couldn't stop imagining

"What if it was more than joking?"

Author's Note

Is there anything you think should be changed?
If you have experienced any of this, is there anyway it can be worded differently/better?