Senior Year

Samantha is the kind of girl that was never really noticed, always invisible. Then in the middle of senior year, Jack transferred to her school and changed her whole world.

I was about to start my senior year in high school and I was scared, really scared. For starters, in this school no one really noticed me, I am kind of invisible here. After they ignored me at my old school, it became harder for me to really trust someone enough to tell them about myself. They think of me as one of the school weirdoes, but what can I do? I know it sounds crazy but I kind of wish that I didn't pass my junior year, so that I could be left behind and start over at some other school.

I've been at this school for about 5 years and no one really noticed me. They don't know who I am, but I do know who they are. I am scared to start senior year, and that is because things can change, I have no idea what can happen this year.

So, senior year started, and it started like any other year. I knew it was kind of going to be like the rest, but I didn't want to believe that, I wanted to believe things were going to change. In the middle of the school year, a boy transferred to our school, which is kind of weird, because no one transfers in the middle of the senior year, but I could see that he was different. On the first class, my best friend Cassidy (who's a junior, but took advanced classes) said that he wouldn't stop staring at me. It's weird that he's staring at me, he's been here long enough to know that I am the weird of the class.

At lunch it's always just me and Cassidy. No one really asked if they could eat with us, but he did. He said his name is Jake.

“Hasn’t anyone told you to stay away from me?” I asked

“Everyone did, but I usually like to go the other way around. I don’t like to be like everybody else, I like being different.” Jake as he sat down with us. “Everyone told me that you are a weirdo, but I don’t believe in weirdoes, I believe in that are different but are not understood by the rest of the world.”

“Wow, I never met someone that saw it that way. Everyone just stays and away and do what everybody else tells them to do.” Who knew that someone would actually transfer this year and change things? “Thank  you for being different from the rest.”

"So, Jake, how come you transferred in the middle of senior year?" Cassidy asked.

"Back at my school, I was the weirdo of the class, I was the one that was never able to get along with the rest of my classmates. I was never able to talk to someone the way that I am talking to you right now, they just saw me as the weird kid that didn't like sports and only spent his time listening to music and reading old books." He took a sip of water before he continued. "Then I realized I wasn't going to take it anymore, so I begged my parents to transfer me to a new school."

"Wow. That's pretty much been me in this school. I am the weird that spends most of her time reading books, old books and was never able to communicate with anyone. Well, not until last year, but Cassidy is a junior, so now I am the weird that hangs out with a junior." I said to him, thinking of how similar our situation was.

"Well, I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I am very glad you found Cassidy. I was never able to find someone that could accept me for who I am." He said getting closer to me. "I hope you can also trust me the way you trust her."

"Well, I hope you don't give me any reason not to trust you." I answered.

"So, I have to go to class now, but Samantha has a free period now and she can show you around, if you want." Cassidy said.

"Well, I would really like that. Are you okay with that Samantha?" Jake asked.

"Well, thank you for asking it, because some people just like to plan your life without even asking. And yes, I would like to show you around." I answered looking at Cassidy.

So, Cassidy left, and we were alone. The only boy I've ever been alone before was my cousin, and now I'm having lunch with Jake. We finished eating, and started to walk around the school. Jake is amazing, he has read the same books that I have, he doesn't like sports, he thinks they're stupid and he likes the same music that I like. We have lots of things in common, even the way we are seen by the rest of our classmates. We started talking about our old schools and it was fun to finally say all those things out loud. It’s weird I was never able to talk about it with anyone, not even with Cassidy, but somehow I was able to do it with Jake.

"You think you will go through the same thing here?" I asked Jake.

"Go through the same? What do you mean?" Jake asked.

"I mean been the weirdo, you think you will be a weirdo here?" I asked again.

"Samantha, if there is one thing I know is that I will be a weirdo at any school that I go. I transferred here because I couldn't be the weirdo of that school, I had no one, but you have Cassidy." He sat down on the floor and I sat down with him. "I feel like this year is going to be different. I don't how different it's going to be, but I know it will be different."

"How are you so sure it's going to be different? I mean, you can still be the same weirdo that you were in your old school, maybe it can be worst, or better, who knows."

"Yeah, I know that can happen, but I like to believe things can change." Jake answered.

"Wow, that's something good to believe, but I stopped believing that a long time ago and...” He stopped me by kissing me, and I kissed him back. That was my first kiss and it was with someone that I just met like an hour ago. It's crazy, I mean, here I am, in the floor, kissing a guy that I basically know nothing about. I stopped and I pushed him away.

"I am so sorry. This is not how I usually am, I am sorry this is not me. I just felt like I needed to kiss you." Jake said.

"You needed to kiss me?! Why would you need to kiss me?!" I asked, still freaked out by what just happened.

"I don't know!" Jake answered, also freaked out. "I am really sorry, I don't know why I did that. It's just that somehow I needed to kiss you and it's not all my fault, you kissed me back!"

"Yes, I kissed you back, but I also don't know why I did that. I mean yes, I like you and we've been through pretty much the same thing in high school, but that doesn't justify why I kissed you back." I stood up and he did too. "This is crazy that was my first kiss!!"

"Well, it was my first kiss too! And I am sorry if you're mad that it was with me, but I am not mad that mine was with you. I'm actually kind of glad that it was with you."

"Why? You don't know that much about me, we just met like an hour ago." I asked, still a bit mad.

"I know I just met you, but I got a good feeling about, like you're going to be someone special to me." Jake said getting closer.

"Well, that can't happen again, unless we actually end up dating, and please don't tell Cassidy this happened or she is going to be really annoying about it."

"Okay, I won't say a thing. Promess. But, please promess me that you won't stop talking to me because of this, I don't want to be alone again." Jake asked.

"Promess." I answered, turning around and walking away.

So I left, mainly because I had class, but also because I couldn't be with Jake right now. I couldn't get Jake out of my mind, I don't know why, it was just one kiss, and it can't mean anything. I just wanted to kiss him again. It's just that when he kissed me, I wasn't here, I was in another world, where it was just the two of us. A place where no one thought we were weird, a place where we were able to be ourselves. I like that I am able to be myself when I am with him, I was never able to do that with a guy that wasn't on my family, I like that he understands what I've been going through, no one was really able to do that, and that kind of made me happy.

Jake is kind of the guy I've been waiting for, but now that he's here and actually likes me, I don't know what to do. It's like that moment when you accomplish what you've always wanted and then you ask yourself 'what now?’ It's hard to know what to do once you got what you wanted, but we all know that, I don't know why I am realizing this now. That night, Jake texted me.

Jake: Hey, are you okay?

Samantha: Yeah, I guess. How did you get my number?

Jake: Cassidy gave it to me, I hope you're not mad about it.

Samantha: Not mad, are YOU okay?

Jake: Yeah, just hoping you're not mad at me or something.

Samantha: I'm not mad and I don't want to be mad.

Jake: Can I still have lunch with you?

Samantha: Of course you can, any time you want.

Jake: Thank you.

We kept talking all night, getting to know each other, until one of us fell asleep. Finally I met a guy that shows an interest in me, in who I am, a guy that's not trying to get in my pants, but I guess I'm driving him away after that kiss. Weeks went by and we kept having lunch at school, pretending that nothing happened even though we both knew that wasn't true, sometimes we would eat with Cassidy and sometimes without her. One day Cassidy didn't went to school because she was sick, which meant that I had to be alone with Jake, again.  Everything was going great until Jake asked me to go on a date with him.

I knew something was going on when Cassidy said she was sick, she never misses a day of school because she is sick, this must have been her idea. So, he asked me out, but I still haven't answer, because I don't what to do. All of this is new to me, I've never even seen someone go through this. I want to say yes, but nothing comes out of my mouth. Jake is the guy that I've been waiting for and here he was asking me out on a date. After a little while I finally say yes and the moment I say it, there's a big relieve expression on his face, I guess he was really nervous,

Finally! I am going on a date with the one guy that actually understands me but I couldn't be more confused. I like Jake, I really do but I have more feelings for him, feelings that I can't explain. Why do feelings have to be so confusing? I don't want confusing, I want it to be easy. I want things with Jake to be easy, I have enough complicated things in my life, I want for at least this one thing to be easy. So, Jake came to pick me up at my house and I guess the ride to the movies wasn't so bad, a little awkward but not so bad. Jake and I talked about stupid things that only we were able to understand and I had fun, until it was kind of awkward

"So, you think I can call you my girlfriend now?" Jake asked all of a sudden.

"What? Why are so persistent in trying to be someone special for me? Are you in love with me or something?"

"As a matter of fact, I am, I am in love with you." He got closer to me, and I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. "I love you Samantha. You are the most amazing girl I've ever met and this past few weeks, I fell in love you. I told you that you were going to be someone special to me, and you are. You went from a stranger to someone I can't stop thinking about, just in a matter of weeks."

"But, how is that even possible?" I asked having absolutely no idea of what is going on.

"I don't know, it just is." He took a step back and the he continued. "Samantha, I finally found a girl that I like. A girl that loves books, and loves writing. A girl that took the time to get to know me before I could get to know her. A girl that is strong, a girl that is sure of who she is. Samantha, you have the one and only quality that I look in a girl and that is that you don't want to change who you are just to be accepted by our classmates."

"Wow, you really like me, I never thought anyone would ever like me. I mean I am not the kind of girl that boys like, I am different from most girls." I answered, still confused.

"And that's what makes you so special." He suddenly said, getting closer again.

"Really? I am special? I sure have never felt special." I said looking down at the floor, thinking that this may be a good thing.

"Yes you are special, and if you have never felt special, then let me make you feel special." He got closer but I took a step back. "Samantha, please. At least give me a chance."

"Fine, but don't screw this up. I don't like being hurt, especially not by someone I really care about."

"Samantha, I don't think I could ever hurt you, if I ever hurt you, I would be hurting myself.” He said getting closer again.

"Well, then I guess I have nothing to worry about." He then started to lean in for a kiss, and that moment before his lips touched mine felt eternal. Like that one moment you know it's going last forever, and then his lips touched mine and suddenly I was in other place where it just the two of us.

I was right, I had absolutely nothing to worry about and that makes me happier every single time that I look at him. Now I know that Jake was right, I would come to be someone very special to him and he would be someone really special to me. Jake was exactly the person I needed to survive senior year. I was about to explode when he came and defused me.

The rest of year got better, Jake made it get better and now when people ask me if I would change anything about it, I wouldn't change a single thing. I am happy with how my life is now, I don't care that my classmates ignore me anymore, I don't care that they think I am a weirdo, because that is how I am and it is up to them to accept me or not.