GrimReaper

Its result of my obsession with GrimReaper...!!!!

Entangled in the CHAINS OF FATE,

In SOLITUDE for the GRIM REAPER I wait,

Lying in the den of darkness
intimidated and crying

Induced the strength
Set in peace
This disheveled soul of mine,

Confined by false need and luxury

Greed and lies clogging my mind,

Enlighten me with the cruel but obsolete truth
Still in me clandestine,

Terrified by its extinction, my body trembles

"Don't Want to Die", makes the mind fumble..

To elude a beckoning grief
Escape misery and unbearable pain

Come help me flee.....

Slash your SCYTHE
To gash deep, deeper
into my bleeding, wretched heart

Disintegrate my chains
And set me free..........

Author's Note

Please tell me ....how is it???

Reviews

[PloughBoy]

It would seem that you have received some good advice from the lovely and talented MomzillaNC,
Gozeta Ritesh. Clearly, your placing in the recent contest in which I too entered, yet did not even place, is true evidence of this fact. Perhaps I could have benefited by her help and great advice as well...

That being as it may, this was raw and powerfully written free verse. I too am fascinated by this creature of death, this harbinger of souls. We can't ever outrun him, and death is nothing to fear. Rather, when our time comes, embrace the cold confines of the grave, and step beyond them.

Nicely done, Mr. Ritesh, and congratulations on your placement in the Poetry, poetry, poetry! Contest. Best of luck to you in all of your future endeavors.

[MomzillaNC]

Very powerful imagery and plea for heartache to end and a soul set free.

Edits:
Comma [and space] "after SOLITUDE" and I think you "the" before GRIM REAPER. You're personal pronoun "i" should almost always be capitalized. (I have seen it used deliberately in the lowercase to denote a self un-actualized).

I think, for the sake of meter, you should break some of the lines as follows:
Entangled [not spelling] in the CHAINS OF FATE…
In SOLITUDE, for the GRIM REAPER, I wait…
Lying in the den of darkness,
Intimidated and crying…
Induced [note the verb tense] the strength…
Set in peace
This disheveled soul of mine,
Confined by false need and luxury… [note the singular]
Greed [singular] and lies clogging my mind…
Enlighten me with cruel, obsolete [note the spelling] truth…
Still in all and still clandestine… [I don't know if this fits your intent, I just think it follows the meter]
A body terrified of its extinction, I tremble…
"I don't want to die," makes the mind fumble…
To elude a beckoning grief… [I don't know if this is your intent, but "elude" means escape]
Escape misery and unbearable pain
Come, help me flee…
Slash [this is the verb you wanted, I think] your scythe…
To perforate, cut deep…
Deep into my bleeding, wretched heart…
Disintegrate my chains…
And set me free…

[Gozeta Ritesh]

man this is awesome...!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gozeta Ritesh]

thank u..!!!!

[MomzillaNC]

You're very welcome. I'm glad to help.