The Fallen Knight

Some battles are not meant to be won.

There is a cause, I feel

terror in the wood, I wait

under the horrifying tree, I hate

myself and the words craft of my mind

My spirit is stricken, with speed

I sprint full expense, my body

was not meant for such, it's crushed

my virtue to have learned the truth

Your Legacy

Crippled in pain, lacerated

by blades in the field, I lay

alone and bleeding, decay

the bonds of such promising return

We have a problem, not I

but you my lovely, my love

is too much for this war, respect

is given to the errant King

Author's Note

Not all is as it may seem. This is a metaphoric piece to illustrate my situation... when I found out that I was the other man.

Reviews

[Jamestown]

Wow! Very creative and powerful piece! The write is really good, but
the message behind the write is horrible, I'm sorry you had to suffer,
these things happen unfortunately, it happened to me
adultery after 15 years of marriage! The ultimate betrayal
and now she is living with my childhood best friend:(
I forgive her wretched heart, because of the Lord's
heart that dwells within me, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[gorillarock]

thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this piece! adultery is a truly horrible thing, and how tragic to be betrayed after fifteen years D: i can only sympathize. it was only a few weeks that i was misled, barely a wound, hardly a scar, but a valuable experience and good piece of wisdom to gain...

take care, and thanks again!

[Mai L Nissen]

I am sorry about your experience, to feel betrayed and simultaneously being the means of another's betrayal.
I like your composition! it works really well all through the poem. In particular in the last stanza. Also the finish in terms of clarity and flow is beautiful:
"We have a problem, not I
but you my lovely, my love
is too much for this war, respect
is given to the errant King"

Thank you for sharing :)

[gorillarock]

Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts! i really struggled with a multitude of cheesy lines and formats to try and get things out. I ended up playing with duality with "i wait" in the line "terror in the wood, i wait, under the horrifying tree" and found the muse(?) appropriate for the duality of the situation which you have identified :) the final stanza was written once and untouched, interesting that you would find it to stand out from the rest

[Mai L Nissen]

There is an honesty and I suppose an coming to terms with what has happened. It just flows effortlessly... Well, sometimes great things scribbled when we don't try too hard :)