Feeling

"Feeling the truth with emptiness"

Feeling too low

Like a bird too slow

I want to break

Like a mist to take

 

I have the feel

That I want to greed

Greed for love

That will never shrug

 

And I want to show

Which I never have to bow

This one is endless

With a feel of helpless

 

I wasn't like this

Who put things on fist

I made my own world

With tips all curled

 

They can show the features

Which I put on preachers

I announced the universe

That I'll never disperse

 

I had those words

Which were my swords

But now I laying

With a feel of playing

 

Playing with my life

Trying with my eyes

I want to tell the truth

But I never FEEL the soothe.

Author's Note

Wrote this in just 15 min.
That time was Feeling too low, so just wrote it....
Please do comment!!!!!

Reviews

[Emilee Grimm]

Wow 15 minutes is not that long. i sincerely like it. You must have been feling alot of emotion during those 15 minutes. I can understand it, though... sometimes the best writing comes in a short period of time. My favorite part:
"Playing with my life
Trying with my eyes
I want to tell the truth
But I never FEEL the soothe"

[Cynthia]

I love this really much..
you wrote this in just 15 minute!
It's a great job!

[Uniqe In Many Ways]

I really like this one..

[Shelby. Loves ya. :3]

awesome poem.

[Berto]

It's very evasive, much like the last line 'I want to tell the truth, but I never feel the soothe'
I get it. It seems as though you want to emphasize the involuntary changes that have occured in the way you interact with others, and as if you look from the outside back at yourself wondering why.

[Coyote Poetry]

With age I need a lot of time to think for my writing. A very good poem. Greed is Ok in limits. We must desire the good things in a life. I do watch my words now. I learn words can scar the heart forever. A excellent poem. It is good to express how you feel.
Coyote

[Dream Weaver]

Not to bad for 15 minutes...
I think you've captured how
you felt especially well..
Nice write...

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

like inner dialogue in poetic fluidity~ the flow is gentle and well composed~

[Ashley]

it flows very well and gripps nicely

[Robin]

very good , maybe smooth out the second stanza , you have a ryhme pattern happening and that kind of juts out