Come close before its too late

I need you to come close to me

Come close to me before its late,

 

Come close to me before I went away,

 

Come close to me before you set me free,

 

Come close to me before I start to fake smile,

 

Come close to me before I m gone,

 

Come close to me because I know our love is not so strong,

 

Come close to me because I want a reason to be yours,

 

Come close to me because I need to be yours,

 

Come close to me because you held me strong,

 

Come close to me because I don't want to be apart,

 

Come close to me because I can't stay away,

 

Come close to me because I love you,

 

Come close to me because what I need is only YOU……My Love

Author's Note

I m new in world of expression. But some how wanted to express myself through my words. Though i know i m not too strong but tried to make it......

Reviews

[FlawedByDesign]

The feelings, expressions and wants behind the words are nice.
The thing that stands out, as a negative for me, is the repetition
of "Come close to me". Little repetition is fine, but when used
on every line it gives me a sense of a list; and I'm sure that's not
what you want to get across.

Good effort.

[unknownthinker]

this is very sweet i can relate...

[ShaneBerry]

very sweet write

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a sweet and heartfelt innocent poetic~ =)~ much enjoyed~ thank you~

[Coyote Poetry]

Those sweet words whisper to tell us to come closer. Make sweet dreams and good memories. I like this poem. Each line with a sweet offer of love and gentle emotion. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[TAO]

You know what, Lavina, this was a very raw piece of poetry, as Bhavya Kaushik said. However, I don't agree there is anything wrong with that.

First, while I'm not a fan of your structure - or lack thereof - it's easy to appreciate the honesty of it. In it's raw form, it could appear that it may need more work - more structure - but your passion should not be so confined. Using the Martial Art as an example, and one of the greatest Martial Artists of them all, Bruce Lee... Jeet Kune Do came out of Bruce Lee's ideology of having a way that is no way... A form that is no form. Jeet Kune Do, while not a "martial art", was the most raw expression of the martial arts, and the most effective. What I am saying is, it is at your most raw, and most unstructured, where you are most free, most honest, and most real.

With that said – bear in mind all this is only my opinion and that I have some disdain toward structure in general – I actually did enjoy reading your poetry. Could it use some work; yes – it could express much more, perhaps be a trifle more fluid. The best thing you could ask about your poetry is “will it strike a chord with at least one person?” I most certainly struck a chord with me. I am all too familiar with the feelings this poem expresses, and because of that fact, it truly is a good poem.

Well done, Lavina K.

[Devons]

This is an interesting kind of mantra of a poem; like spelling out the rites of passage in the physical and spiritual aspects of a relationship. It speaks of the need, want, desperation, fragility, devotion, desire, and ultimately love that may occur between two people mutually attracted. But by showing all these aspects it also reveals how the basis of such a connection is often not the pure love or lust that is normally inferred. "I know our love is not so strong"..."I want a reason to be yours"...."I need to be yours".... And then it ends with "I love you"..."My love"... This impresses me with the concept of being in love with the idea of being in love. Or being in love with love. Or maybe just wanting to be loved. This, to me, shows truly how love can be mistaken, or indeed how love can be so many things, and that our true reasons for loving are often obscured, even from ourselves.
An intelligent representation of the reality of feelings.

PS. beware of grammatical/tense errors.

[Daydreamer54]

AW so sweet, Nice poem here! keep up the good work! :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is nice Lavina, but again this is too RAW, you getting what am I trying to say..writing is not only about expressing your thoughts, but penning them down in a structure and typical formation.
Though, I enjoyed this piece with its good literal quality, the continuous alliteration was nice, but it lacked that feeling of a poetry. For me, this was more of like a prose than a poem..
But I enjoyed it overall :) Keep writing!