Come close before its too late

Come close before its too late

A Poem by lavina k.
"

I need you to come close to me

"

Come close to me before its late,

 

Come close to me before I went away,

 

Come close to me before you set me free,

 

Come close to me before I start to fake smile,

 

Come close to me before I m gone,

 

Come close to me because I know our love is not so strong,

 

Come close to me because I want a reason to be yours,

 

Come close to me because I need to be yours,

 

Come close to me because you held me strong,

 

Come close to me because I don't want to be apart,

 

Come close to me because I can't stay away,

 

Come close to me because I love you,

 

Come close to me because what I need is only YOU……My Love

© 2010 lavina k.


Author's Note

lavina k.
I m new in world of expression. But some how wanted to express myself through my words. Though i know i m not too strong but tried to make it......

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Featured Review

The feelings, expressions and wants behind the words are nice.
The thing that stands out, as a negative for me, is the repetition
of "Come close to me". Little repetition is fine, but when used
on every line it gives me a sense of a list; and I'm sure that's not
what you want to get across.

Good effort.

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It's a very strong pleading. And a universal cry for love, for love returned, for love returned strongly, and for a comfortable, safe zone. Well done
David

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

In every relationship..
However strong it is…..
There will be a space for insecurity….
In the minds of persons involved in the relationship…..
And we need constant awareness that….our loved ones will be with us forever….
This poem seems to be an outpouring of that need…,
An outstanding creation…..


Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A good try, you can still work on this, the feelings were put into words, and these words could be rephrased to form a better poetry... Keep writing, i enjoyed reading this.... To participate in the contest, i want you to dedicate it to someone, hope you read the rules of the contest fully.... God luck!

Posted 14 Years Ago


The feelings, expressions and wants behind the words are nice.
The thing that stands out, as a negative for me, is the repetition
of "Come close to me". Little repetition is fine, but when used
on every line it gives me a sense of a list; and I'm sure that's not
what you want to get across.

Good effort.

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

i love it....

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ahhh..come closer..somehow i love that word..hmmmn.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great work. Repitition makes your poem all the more effective.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i like the repatition its very strong and the emotions of the poem are clear. you obviously have a natural tallent if this is one of your first poems.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Keep up the good efforts of honest and heartfelt expression.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 24, 2010
Last Updated on July 24, 2010

Author

lavina k.
lavina k.

jaipur, India



About
I am a person who is completely new in this World of writing your Expressions. I love the way life holds all of us in its hands, and it shows how we are entangled in the power of time. Sometimes lif.. more..

Writing
Missing him! Missing him!

A Story by lavina k.



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