Black and White

This is a poem symbolizing the way a person feels after a breakup with the person they cared about the most.

Land loses color,

The skies turn dark.

Life loses its succor,

Therefore leaving a mark.

 

Clouds bleed,

As do I,

Of internal pains,

Outside while it rains.

 

Taken from me what I need,

Deeper than the sky,

My heart throbs,

And the sky sobs.

Author's Note

I like critical anylasies, so if you see a problem, I can try to correct it.

Reviews

[sentimental~ galore]

I liked your approach on black and white...this was melancholy and realistic. The essence of pain is evident in this poem, well dome. i am almost feel like you could add another stanza in the beginning, something that opens and intros it better...your opening right now is more special in the middle. but aside from that its wonderful.