13.Oh! I Lost it

 

Oh! I lost it

 
Once upon a time

My cousin with me

Journey back home

Enjoying Bus journey

 

Five minutes halt

Small break in journey

Wanted to be out

Some fresh air

 

Let’s get coffee

Just the first sip

Bus moved out

We ran behind it

 

Day’s last bus

Missed it oh God!

Luggage lost with it

Heart broken sigh!!

 

What next!

Let’s think

Take long walk

Crazy cousin said

 

Not much money

Hike ride!

Hope what else

Some one to stop by

 

A huge truck stopped

Answered our pray

Hop in

Shouted a kind soul

 

Heading home wow..!

Why is truck slow!

Moving snail pace

Hesitantly I asked

 

Can’t cross 40 miles

Company rules kid

You don’t like

Walk out perhaps!

 

Missed bus, lost luggage

Would he care!

At least I thought

Reduced speed save lives

 

Vehicle stops 10 miles short

Refuse to take us further

Driver mumbles again

Company rule

 

It’s late already

A quick thought

Hire a bicycle!

Bus terminus isn’t far

 

Riding pretty fast

I’m off

Cousin stays over

Security against bike

 

Same bus parked

Climbing the ladder

Thrilled I am Aha!!

My Luggage still intact

 

We possess something

And lose it

Hope to get something

And miss it

 

Pal

Poem n Video by Pal

55.Oh! I lost it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYZXcgHf8gA

Reviews

[Kuntry]

I think we all miss the Bus a time or two in our lives. Honestly I got lost in a couple of spots but a great read all the same...

[M I N D Y]

this was cool... a couple of places the meter was lost... but i liked the way this was a story to follow along with. funny now... but not so funny then. this is a true story? it reads like it was.

[Marie]

I liked it. Great job, Pal.

[Beth]

nice adventure :-)

I like your style of story poem. Like WildPigUK, I would ask, 'is this a true story'? Very interesting , if so.

[WildPigUK]

I thought this was cool. I much prefer poems like this that tell an interesting story of some sort, instead of focusing solely on the emotions.

Is this a true story?

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Interesting story - your fragmented way of writing is interesting and flows well most of the time but there is the occasional line that is hard to follow...Good write though - thank you for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha

[George Love]

Well done, some awkward timing in places, but a nicely worded peice.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

It's not bad but the wordin feel a littel stilted in places. Like is stanza one I would change enjoying to joyous. tray doing a syllable count That usually helps.
Debby

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Agreed we get too attached to things, you express it in this very well. Nicely done. Enjoyed this write.


Great Write.