Beauty Queen

*sigh*

She can't keep this up.

This charade of caring.

She doesn't care.

Apathetic beauty queen.

Hiding even from herself.

It used to hurt.

Used to break her heart.

But then the pain turned numb.

Her heart turned cold.

And she didn't care.

But she tried to act like she did.

Tried to give people the feelings she couldn't feel.

But it didn't effect her one way or another.

She's lost in a sea of non-emotions.

She doesn't want to be rescued either.

Everyone loves a beauty queen at first.

But that's all she is.

Nothing more.

No one ever sticks around.

They become bored,

Or disappointed.

So much hope they place in her.

Unaware of her emptiness.

No one wants her now.

No one takes the empty,

Non-feeling,

Broken girl.

Such a beautiful disaster.

That's all they can see now.

So that's all she can see too.

Not that it bothers her anymore.

The only emotion left is fear.

Fear of everything.

Fear of feeling anything else,

Fear of herself.

Fear of others.

Fear of everything.

So she just goes through the motions.

Pushing them all away,

The ones that get too close.

She doesn't want help.

She doesn't want to be rescued.

She just wants a way out of this nothing life.

But can't find that way,

Or a way back to the something life.

She's trapped.

But won't give up.
 

Not yet.