Unfeeling

Wishing to feel anything...

Move me.
Do something.
Touch me,
Kiss me,
Hit me,
Bite me.
I need to feel something,
Right now.
I don’t care what.
Anything.
Rip my heart out of my chest,
And make it beat for you.
Because I can’t.
I wish I could.
If I’ve ever wanted it to beat for anyone,
It’s for you.
But I can’t.
I can’t feel anything.
I don’t feel the longing,
I don’t feel the pain of denial.
I don’t feel any of that.
I want to.
I say I do.
But I don’t.
I don’t know that I can.
I don’t know that I’m capable.
But I let you believe I could.
And now it’s almost too late.
I need to tell you the truth.
Or feel something before then.
And I wish the non-feeling was shared.
But I think you do feel it.
I think you can feel it all.
I think your heart may be beating for me.
And that breaks my heart a little bit.
Not enough to feel anything though.
I can’t keep up the lie.
I can’t act like I can either.