chapter four: wish.

      Nameless; Age 6-

      Nameless sat at her desk of her grade one class, while everyone else moved around, delivering Valentines. She wasn't allowed to give them out, and she didn't expect to get one, either.

      A slight draft from under the door played with her skirt. She watched it, as she heard a soft fwap land beside her hand. She looked up to see who it was, and nobody was there. Nameless sighed. The one Valentine she'd recieved, and she might not even know who it's from.

      Mrs. Merlees walked up to the front of the classroom. "Alright, now did everyone get a Valentine?"

      "Yes, Mrs. Merlees," the class chanted. Mrs. Merlees walked up to Nameless. "Did you get one?"

      "Yes, I did, miss,"  Nameless replied, the Valentine now tucked away in her hands, so she would always remember that moment.

      "Oh, good show!" Mrs. Merlees gave her a pat on the back, and went back up to the front of the class. "Alright, now today, we're going to learn how to add number so they.."

      Nameless was zoning out, trying to imagine who would give her a valentine. Nobody in the class even talked to her.. 'Oh well.. I guess I'd just better learn how to add..' as she then gave her full attention to Mrs. Merlees.

~~~

      Nameless saw her fathers car when she walked out into the parking lot that after noon. She wanted to know if it was really her father, or just her mother borrowing his car. It was her father. She got in. "Hi, Daddy."

       "Hello.." Drew stated, as if she'd said the weather was nice. "How was school today?" He started the engine.

      "It was good.. Daddy? I got a valentine. But, I didn't see who it was.. And I didn't open it yet.. I.. Don't know how I feel about that.." She looked out the window, confused in her own thoughts.

      Drew chuckled to himself. "Well, do you want to open it now, or at home?"

      "At home, so Mummy can see too.." She looked at her father. "But Daddy, guess what I learned today?"

      "What did you learn today?" He was concentrating on the road, and only said anything because she had told him to. He didn't really want to talk with her right now, but knew he couldn't ignore her.

      "I learned that you and Mummy are two people, and if you add me, then it's three. And if I had a baby brother or sister, or even.." She thought of a number, "Four brothers or sisters, then it's seven people. See? I learned how to add!" She said excitedly.

      "That you did.."  Drew went onto the busy highway. "You have to stay quiet for a bit now, ok? There are a lot of cars out today, and Daddy doesn't want to crash."

      Nameless nodded, and she leaned back into the seat. 'Who would give me one..? I don't talk to any of the girls.. And the boys are scared of me, even though they like the other girls..' She couldn't stop thinking about that Valentine the whole way home.

      When they arrived, her mother was waiting outside on the deck. Drinking her normal cup of Green Tea, and reading the newest novel she'd bought, she smiled at Nameless. "Hi honey." She gave her a kiss n the cheek.

      "Hi, Mummy.. Why didn't you come pick me up today?"  Curious, one of her eyebrows raised.

      "I broke my leg today. I was walking down the stairs, and I tripped on one of your toys.." Nameless' face fell. "Don't worry.. It was one that I dropped right before I tripped on it, so don't blame yourself, ok?"

      Nameless nodded again. "I got a Valentine today, Mummy! Look!"  She pulled the Valentine out of her pocket. She opened it, finally. "It says, 'Ha-happy Valentines Day, Nameless. From, the boy who likes you.' Oh.. It doesn't say who.."  She looked up at her mother. "Why didn't he say who, Mummy?"

      "Maybe he was scared to say he likes you.. Got butterflies in his tummy." She smiled at her.

      Nameless looked at her father; confused. "Why would you eat butterlies..?" She asked him.

      Drew burst out laughing. "No, no.. He didn't eat them.. It feels like he ate them." He chuckled again.

      Nameless was still confused. "But.. How did the butterflies get there?!" She said, her face panicked.

      Janet took her hand. "They're not real butterflies.. It's just the feeling of being nervous."

      Nameless finally nodded. "Like.. When you're about to throw up?"

      Janet half shrugged, nodding. "Kinda.. Only.. You'll feel happy about this feeling."

      "Oh.." She said. "Can I go to my room now?" As she placed the valentine back in her pocket.

      Janet nodded. Nameless left, going in the house. Drew sat down next to her, and held her hand.

      "Did she ask today..?" She asked him. She'd been asking every day since the beginning of grade one.

      "No.. She was too busy concentrating on the valentine she'd recieved." He looked at his shoes. "It's just gonna get harder and harder to talk about as she gets older.. Learns more.."

      "I know.." She looked out across the front yard, thinking about the day she'll finally find out the truth.

      Drew followed her gaze. "Are you alright? Do you need anything..?"

      She shook her head. "I'll be fine.. You go get dinner ready."

      Drew nodded, standing up. As he walked past, he kissed her. Then he proceeded to the kitchen.

--

      Nameless had changed into a red skirt, with a matching red top. She put on her sparkly green shoes, and then brushed her hair at the vanity. She came out of her room, and went to the living room. No one was there. She went back outside, and showed her mother her clothes. Janet smiled at her. "You look beautiful, dear.""

      "Thank you, mummy," she left, and went to the kitchen. "Daddy? Do you like what I'm wearing?"

      Drew looked at his daughter. "Yes, I do.. you look very beautiful."

      Nameless smiled too. "Thank you, Daddy.." She went back to her room, and put all of them on the edge of the bed. She put on a white t-shirt, and her black jeans for dinner. She came out, then went and sat on the front porch with her mother. They were sitting in silence together, when Nameless looked at her mother. "How are people made..?"

      Janets' eyes widened, and she coughed. "Oh.. Uhmm.. Hmm." She didn't know how to answer her, never having had 'the talk' herself. "Well.. You know how Mummy and Daddy love eachother very much, right..?"

      Nameless nodded. "I know that, 'cause you're my Mummy and Daddy; so, you have to love eachother.."

      Janet nodded. "But.. Babies are born when two people love eachother so much, and they feel very happy with them."

      "Oh.." She replied. She nodded in understanding. "Why don't I have a brother or a sister then? 'Cause you and Daddy love eachother still, right?"

      "Yes, we do love eachother still.. But. You don't have a brother or sister because when you were born.. The doctors had to cut her tummy open to get you out.. And.. Mummy almost died.."

      Nameless' eyes widened. "Was it my fault..?!"

      "No honey.. It was Mummies' bodies fault.. It didn't like having you in her tummy for some reason.."

      "Oh.. Can I see your tummy..? Where they cut it?"

      "Of course you can.. Come here." Nameless got down off her seat, and came over to her mother. Janet lifted the bottom of her shirt up, and pointed to the scar. "Mummies' tummy was open from this line, and that's where you came out.." She said softly.

      Nameless softly moved her fingers over the scar. "It's bumpy.."

      Janet nodded. "It's ok though.. It's all healed."

      Nameless nodded again. "But.. If I came out of your tummy because of something wrong, where was I supposed to be..?" Her eyes alight with curiousity.

      Janet shook her head. "You'll find out when you're older, ok?"

      "How much older..?"

      "Only a couple more years.." She smiled at her.

     "Ok.." Nameless gave her mother a hug. "I love you, Mummy.."

      "I love you too.." she hugged her back. Nameless then went back to her seat, and thought about how it must feel to have a baby in your tummy. 'Wouldn't it hurt..? Hmm..' She thought about this, until it was hard to think about, being confused. She sighed, and watched then sun dissappear below the trees until supper time.