I think this's a great write and this's about
love,
pain,
hurt,
truth,
lie,
feelings,
heels,
zeals,
and moreover this piece is all about "semblance" that's what i think.
No, there's no need to change anything else in this piece because every line's well penned with your hand but came from your heart not from your mind and try not to change. I liked this piece because i can feel your pain, love and appearance of love.
No, i don't think there's need to do improve this piece...leave it as it is..it's painful and truthful with your feelings.
Yeah, i liked everything special...
Do you like to see the fear in my eyes?
Do you like how I creep around when you're near,
trying not to make you angry?
If you do,
why do you say you're sorry afterwords?
this phrase i loved because i've seen here realness' not even of your life but it's of everything's life...in everyone;s life this happens to all one's once a time foresure...tht's what i liked because it's real and having a lot of pain, depth, joy but sorrow as well...!
i was trying to figure what a thing is here that i disliked....so i read it twice a time but i don't think here's anything else what i didn't like and love and i did dislike...i liked everything and i loved this piece because it's came from your heart.
Rating :
1000/100
conclusion :-
Awesome write but painful write.
great job, keep writings...you've already got my thumbs up not one or not two it's 100 thums up you've got from me. !
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! Your comment means a lot to me!
Mmm, I like it! I'll give it 97, but not 100 because "remember" is repeated a lot and that kind of halts the storyline to the poem. Otherwise, I like that it's straight forward, and that I can understand the beating by a partner. I like the way it sounds in my head and it's got a calm anger and sadness to it all at once, a vulnerability.
WoW. A Power packed piece. Sad to say, I can relate, but I don't let stuff like that keep me down. It's past stuff anyways, no need to dwell, though sometimes the memories resurface...I certainly hope this is a fictional piece, but if not...you're not alone darlin. Things tend to get better over time, you just gotta be tough. As far as your poetry goes, written well, rolls off the tongue, and causes a strong reaction. 100/100
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you. Time heals most wounds...most. I'm glad you like it, it was originally a prose piece but .. read moreThank you. Time heals most wounds...most. I'm glad you like it, it was originally a prose piece but I thought it would work better as a poem so I changed a few things and seperated it into stanzas.
Sweetheart I just hope this isn't true, because you deserve to be safe in a relationship. This was touching, and amazingly written. It tugs at my heartstrings, because my aunt went through the same thing. Wow, that was beautifully awful
Hi! My pen name is Isabelle Faye but you can call me Isabelle or Belle for short. I'm an under 18 year old writer from the United States. I write both poetry and books/novels but the latter tend to pr.. more..