Prologue

I gazed out across the water, watching the surface sparkle as it reflected the sun's rays, the waves rolling. I closed my eyes, inhaling the salty sea air. I heard the waves crash against the shore, their soothing sound threatening my resolve. "No." I told myself, my voice barely louder than a whisper. "What's done is done, I've chosen. This is final." I thought back to the neatly folded note on my bed, waiting for someone to discover it. Below it was my private journal, the one no one knew I had, the one with the reasons why.

      I slipped off the hard rock I had been sitting on, my feet making a soft thump in the loose sand. Slowly, as if in a trance, I began to walk towards the water. My loose top billowed around me, its folds streaming in the wind. My light brown hair whipped in the breeze, blown back from my face. I felt exhilarated, excited. I was also sad. I let out a sorrowful laugh, the kind you have when you wish something was true but you know better. The kind where you wish for that little piece of fantasy, the serenity, the innocence to come back.

     I felt rather than saw the water wash over my feet, feeling it tickle my toes as it rushed back into the ocean. I took another step forward, into the frothy surf. The water lapped around my ankles, then my calves. I closed my eyes, drawing in a deep breath through my nose. I felt the sun's fingers caress my skin, leaving a soft warmth. I tilted my chin up, absorbing its warm light for the last time.

     One foot in front of the other I walked, the waves covering my waist, then my stomach. I just kept walking, eyes closed, head tilted up to the sun. It was strange, the feeling I was experiencing, almost like nirvana. The world around me was moving like normal but where I was, it had stopped, fallen silent. All I could hear were the waves washing up on the shore. It was a transcendent state, like I wasn't attached to my body anymore, I was separate, different. It was utter contentedness. I was up to my nose now. I savored the air one last time, taking one last breath.

     "I'm sorry." I whispered to the wind. I took one last gulp of air and stepped forward. The water closed over my head, engulfing me, blocking out all sound, a peaceful, tranquil abyss. Blackness surrounded me as I sank down,down,down.

Author's Note

So, what do you think? Anything I should change? Should I keep writing it?

Reviews

[Anna]

Omg thats spectacular, I really felt the emotion! Wonderful writing, I loved it!!

[Isabelle Faye]

Thanks! I'm glad that you like it.

[Emma Pond]

First of all: fantastic. I love reading this and I've read it over and over a few times to be quite honest. Definitely keep writing it, or something like it because it's unique and I personally love it.
The imagery that you use is incredible, especially with the way she holds herself and the clothes she is wearing. The tone of this Prologue is very touching. Not like the sort of "Aw, so touching and lovey" kind of touching, but more like it hits home if you've gone through something similar.
I haven't, but this makes me feel like I have. It's strange, but that's why I love this. You shouldn't change anything because it really is fantastic and I love it.
Emma xx
(P.S. Congradulations winning 3rd place in my contest!)

[Isabelle Faye]

Thank you for your feedback. I'm very glad that you like this. I've been trying to continue this but I've hit a sort of writers block and I don't like the way my writing is turning out right now. I'm glad you like the imagery, I was using this as a way to mess around with images in a way I haven't in the past and I'm glad that it worked. I'm glad the prologue was touching. It's...hmm...how should I phrase this? Umm....I guess I was trying to show the other side of suicide. There's a sort of stigma that goes with the word, rightly or wrongly, and I wanted to show it from the other side of the lens. You always hear from the family and friends who have lost someone. The feeling of the person aren't always taken into account as heavily as they should be. As for it seeming as if I've gone through something similar, I think a lot, sometimes about things I shouldn't consider as deeply as I do. There's a reason the book is called, "Only Thoughts". I won't say more than that but maybe that explains a little. I'm glad it made you feel like you experienced this, I was trying to get the reader into the main character's shoes. I'm really happy that you like this and I thank you for your in-depth review.
Sincerely,
Isabelle

[Emma Pond]

I know how you feel with the writer's block. I've been sitting around for the past hour or so trying to avoid mine, but I'm dying to write something, I'm just not sure what. And I agree with your point on trying to show the other side of suicide. Sometimes people overlook those feelings and just assume things. They don't really think about it, they just pretend they do in front of people. I think a lot too. Sometimes too much and it goes somewhere it shouldn't. The title does explain a little, and better than most titles would. I'm glad I was able to find this, I really like it.
x,
Emma

[Isabelle Faye]

Yes, writers block is quite a resilient little bugger. Those sort of feelings do tend to be overlooked, unfortunately. I'm glad the title explains a bit. Sorry for the bad response, I'm not really up to writing much at the moment.

[Ama May Cooper]

This is a morbid piece indeed, i feel your character's silent retreat, her messages left behind for others to find. A sad and final retreat from a world she was somewhat hurt by.
If you can take it somewhere by all means do because this is fantastic piece of work, lovely your way with words paints such vivid and clear images in mind that to dabble in your work would be my pleasure

[Isabelle Faye]

Thank you. I wrote another chapter but I'm not happy with it. I'm glad you like this.

[Persona]

You posted this a while ago, but you haven't added a second chapter. I'd say you should use paragraphing because it's very untidy and the small writing is a bit off putting. The photo ruins your layout so either get rid of it or move it to the bottom of the page (I don't know if that's possible or not, I don't put photos in my writing so I wouldn't know). Write the next chapter and don't worry so much about this one. Fix those basic things - it won't take long.

[Isabelle Faye]

Thank you. As you can see, I took your advice.

[Calibaster]

replace the second sad with sorrowful! then it will be perfect!

[Isabelle Faye]

Thank you so so so so so so so so so so much! I've been trying to fix that ever since I wrote it. Thank you!

[IAmGhost120]

I think it's very well done, but sometimes the wording could be a little more suited to the situation. Like "I was also sad. I let out a sad laugh, the kind you have when you wish something was true but you know better. " - the repetition of the word "sad" kind of feels out of place.
If you space it out with different paragraphs to add some pacing that would probably help it sound more...grim, and more final.
I liked your use of punctuation though; it provided a nice flow and pace of its own. Great!!

[Isabelle Faye]

Thank you. I know, that sad bugs me as well but I don't know what to replace it with. Different paragraphs...hmm. I haven't really thought about that, I didn't think the piece was long enough for that. What do you mean by pacing? Thank you, I'm glad that you like it.

[Isabelle Faye]

I almost wanted it to be kind of peaceful. That sounds weird but that's how I wanted to write it.

[IAmGhost120]

By pacing, I meant using paragraphs to kind of indicate where you would stop to breathe if you were reading it aloud. If you want to use paragraphs, try reading it aloud at a peaceful, relaxed pace and seeing where you would stop to breathe/ pause for effect.

[Alexander143]

Quit the modesty. I've never 'seen' a suicide situation painted this beautifuly and vividly. In all honesty, your chapter intimidates my intellect. You're a gorgeous writer!

[Isabelle Faye]

Thank you so much. I'm really glad that you like it, I was focusing on imagery when I wrote this, I was hoping the reader would feel like they were there with the girl. I'm really glad you like my writing, thank you.

[Alexander143]

You're welcome. Anytime.

[Dil Coeur]

I love it! So, if this is the prologue, is the rest of the book what happens after she dies? Or is she somehow rescued? Or is the rest of the book what led her up to that fateful moment? I definitely want more!

[Isabelle Faye]

Thanks. I'm still working that out. I was thinking about it either being from the point of view of someone she left behind or what led her to make the choice she did. I'm not even sure if I'll continue this, I have no time to write long things these days.

[Dil Coeur]

It's amazing what you can accomplish a few hundred words at a time, if you do want to finish it. Personally, I would definitely want to read more, but I definitely understand not having time

[Isabelle Faye]

I don't even have time for a few hundred words. My poems are ones I write on the go, about my expletives because it's a healthier way to deal with them then what I used to and still sometimes do to try and cope. I can't keep an idea in one piece of writing going if I do t write it all at once, that's just me.

[Isabelle Faye]

Oops...experiences, sorry.

[Dil Coeur]

Ah, I totally understand. Unfortunately I tend to get big ideas that get started and never finished, so I can appreciate the convenience of being able to express yourself with poetry.

[Isabelle Faye]

Yes, I do love the ability to complete an idea quickly that poetry offers. I never have finished a single book I've started, I always tend to lose interest.

[GreenIvy]

Wow. This is really good so far. I wonder what happens after this though. Keep writing. :)

[Isabelle Faye]

I probably never will finish this...I love writing the start of books but I never really carry through with them.

[Legolas]

I think its a great prologue. The description is amazing:) the pic compliments it nicely too:) keep writing!!!