Fireside Angel

On separation. I used a phoenix's life cycle as the skeleton for my description. It's the first rhyming poem I've written in awhile. The title is from the painting "Fireside Angel" by Max Ernst, though the poem and the painting are not related. Goog

 

I used to be a fireside angel

My iron heart was never tangled

Until life took a crueller angle

And left me with a metal mangled

 

Deluded I'd the right decision

It didn't go how I'd envisioned

Even with my heart's excision

With grief my mind was still provisioned

 

So I built myself a funeral pyre

To put an end to my desire

but when upon that cinnamon spire

I found I couldn't light the fire

 

For a thousand years I sat divided

Wondering how I should have sided

Until at last a choice was sighted

And I went ahead, perhaps misguided

 

To begin my fiery tears at last

Reliving what had come and passed

The funeral spice ignited fast

And I found renewal within the ash

Reviews

[daftinklings]

I like the rhythm you've got going on and the how the words fit together. I'm especially happy about how you got everything to rhyme.

I would have liked to know what had gotten her heart into a mangle, though. The poem just seems to be mentioning it but it mentions it so much that I've become really curious. The whole poem talks about what happened to her after this problem occurred, but it never says what the problem was. Maybe just one tiny clue would be nice, to clear up why she's so terribly unhappy.

[Michael X]

from the ashes, the heart rises, from a state of brokenness to become whole again,
I really enjoyed the metaphorical reference to the phoenix because it is classic,
and this poem depicts the idea with originality, great job, an excellent poem