Pawn People

this is a poem that im trying to branch out with. I never, ever write poetry that rhymes, so i decided id give it a shot with this one.

I must have fallen in love
with my own image of
what i wanted you to be.
the things i wanted to see
in you, ideas i formed in my mind.
i erased your mistakes, hoping to find
a person better than who you really are. 
I never could quite look at you as we sat in my car.
And you, you went along with it for a while
faking every hug, every kiss, every smile.
You made me believe what was wrong was right
when you told me you loved me as we lay awake every night.
Maybe it was my fault from the start
in choosing to believe you, i solidified my part
in the game that we both would play
like mere pawns of the people we wished to portray.
Yet each time, i pretended not to be hurt
by the things that you did, by the lies that i learned
you were sliding like water through the cracks in your teeth.
I must have been the only one to fall beneath
the spell you worked hard as hell to make.
Did you do it to have company, for companies sake?
Here i followed along with your darkening life.
Watched idly by as you stabbed backs with your knife.
I must have lost myself in midst of words unspoken.
Maybe it was that i liked being broken.
Or better yet, it had just gone too far
for I had taken every hit, every bruise, every marr.
But now i see i just needed the years
to cry out all the pain, to create my own tears.
I guess it had to take me this long
to realize that i was very very wrong
to believe in this person i thought was real
to let him guide the emotions i only pretended to feel. 
its been long enough now for me to finally realize
I don't love you anymore, but I don't hate or despise
you.  For what you did to that girl, I'll never forgive
but she's ok now, and I'm here to live.