They call me
borderline saintly.
these hands make do and mend;
stitch hearts together in more ways than
one; these hands
mold sheets into feelings
and feelings into beings;
these hands are fragile and
I just want these words to mean
something, somewhere
but instead of wine
we drink cheap vodka,
and the blood is my own-
I think I bit my cheek.
They call me
almost
almost there, almost something
worth talking about but even as I sketch words
into the crook of my arm-
words they teach to the kids and their parents
and their parents-
the ink smears and I am left with
almost something.
What does this mean?
Can you hear me?
but instead of wine
we drink visions, like prophets
and the blood is my own-
half-moons dug into my skin.
They call me
sacrosanct
but breathe sanction in the same phrase;
we are bathed, born in
sin but no one ever told me what it means
to be, only how.
Any proof I have comes from 4 a.m. infomercials and
the sparkling eyes of those
whose pockets are deeper than their
faith;
"God is here in the room,
right now.”
But when we raise the question
they respond
"The entry fee to heaven
is worship
is worship
of an entity we've never actually seen”
They call me
a cynic
but when devotion and sacrifice
are interchangeable
I’d rather not play with the fire
they dance around
and instead of wine
we drink water, untouched and corrupt
and the blood is my own-
under my fingernails, for a reason.