I Don't Do The Talking Thing

Smiling makes me feel happy.

Because when I smile I know that other people are satisfied because they think I’m happy.

Talking makes me feel alive.

Because when I talk, I feel as if I’m bringing something to life; words.

Laughing makes me feel human.

Because when I laugh, I am doing something that humans are supposed to do.

When I tear, the numbness leaves for one split second.

When tears climb down my cheeks, it no longer is a sign of overwhelming sadness, but of release.

If I manage to cry, my heart is rejuvenated from its restless slumber.

A coma I lie in.

Except this one I may never escape for more than a blur of a minute.

Oozing fat, glistening in the light.

One too many swallows, and I pinch and dig.

The voices inside my head scream and screech the truths of my reflection.

Searching for answers? More like for one more gone.

Trying with unceasing effort, although with no fuel I can barely step.

Sucrose taunts me, and eventually I give in.

Then once again the voices, and then barricades I try to put up.

But each and every time I am convinced.

Confused between terror and gelidity of my insides.

When will I throw it away?

Author's Note

Surprisingly, a true story.

Reviews

[PaintedBirdy]

my interpretation is that this is about a struggle to lose weight. but who cares what my interpretation is? this is gorgeous writing. my favorite line is "Then once again the voices, and then barricades I try to put up." amazing and truthful, and i'm so glad that you shared this because it's amazing. smiling, talking, laughing, crying, but then this one thing that won't happen; i think that's the message of this: one thing just won't happen (the feeling of being in a powerless coma maybe). and it's painful and how you express it is beautiful. i love this. i know the struggle of whatever it is is probably awful but this poem is amazingly writ.

[goddessofwriting]

Thank you for your review! Love hearing others interpretations...

Glad you enjoyed it.

- G.W. :)

[KCthelastboyscout]

I always enjoy unique stories and poems in the cafe.your soul should be empty because you emptied everything in this poem.a painful but PLEASURE to read

[goddessofwriting]

Thank you for reading!

-G.W.

[Great Aunt Astri]

You get across the feelings very well, of many who have suffered this condition. It must feel very much like being in a 'coma' when one is unable to connect, while those annoying voices 'scream and screech'. Well written, and keep on expressing yourself.

[JC]

Gives me a feeling of addiction and regret, well written with depth and honesty.

[goddessofwriting]

I'm glad this connected with you!

All the best,

-G.W.

[alanwgraham]

As you say, you write in riddles but your subject gives a strong impression of not being connected , an outsider. The idea of laughing because that's what humans do is quite sad. I am aware that we are revealed through our writing and although not much of my work is autobiographical there is far more there than I would like to reveal.
I am bipolar myself and i think that my creative impulse has come from there.
All the best with your writing.
Regards.
Alan

[goddessofwriting]

Thank you for taking the time to review my poem. I'm happy you were able to feel a sense of connection/relation to this poem.

Cheers,

-G.W.