I Didn't Know

Trying to understand.

losing myself in the smoke and scenarios playing in loops

question who I am in a moment twisted in pain and confusion

you didn't push me off the high I put myself in 

but caught me below in reassurance of something bigger than we can comprehend

time has swept me off my balance 

and soaked me in doubt 

when the search for the who is more than you

no less than me and I've locked myself in just to scream 

it doesn't have to make sense, doesn't need a beat to flow

my truth is spread into sentences that must be re-read

first drafts make the cut and it's always been enough

the story constantly restarting but still no assurance in what is in the end

I just didn't know it was enough.

Author's Note

I'm still trying to explain and understand myself in this journey I'm currently on.