Chapter 14, 15

                                  Anne.

 

For Some unexplainable reason Sarah had decided to start smoking again, and though Anne had offered her one of her a “Smooth, All Natural,  Eco friendly Herbal Alternative”  Sarah had insisted on stopping at the nearest way station and procuring her own “Poisonous, , Corporate W***e of a Cancer Stick' alternative. By the time she had reached the van Anne had covered her face in dirt and was applying a healthy amount of Sarah’s lipstick to the cheek bone.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Trying makeup”

 

“Not like that and why are you smearing dirt on your face?  It isn't dirt it is a light mineral compound, okay.  For god’s sake ....Wait, where did you get that? That is from my bag, what are you doing in my bag, stay out of my bag

 

“Sorry”

 

 

“What? No you’re not. You are doing it on purpose, it’s bad enough when people create art or make a statement but when they make an artistic statement, specifically make me an artistic statement I don’t like it ok.  is it too much to ask that no one protest, demonstrate, or make any artistic observation or statements at me or about anything else I am doing for the next fifteen minutes. Yeah I get the point, very funny, now give me back my lipstick stick and from now on stay out of my bag”

 

  Anne gave Sarah back the lipstick. She could see why Jake liked her. She was Fun. Sarah was getting back into The Van. This was going to be a long trip; she may as well have some fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                         Jake.

The stage is darkly lit; a single chair is on center stage.

 

Man: Alone in the darkness, man became the darkness and the darkness was in him.

 

Lights go out.

 

Jake: So what did you think?

 

Anne: I liked it.

 

Jack: It was … er…Interesting.

 

Leo: yes…uh…very… uh ….Artistic.

 

Sarah: That was a comedy?

 

Jake: yes.

 

Sarah: Jake, it’s not funny, it’s just sick.

 

Jake: huh?

 

Sarah:  It’s about a puppy that gets hit by a MAC truck.

 

Jake:  It’s a Dark Comedy.

 

Sarah: For children?

 

Jake: It has puppies.

 

Sarah: Every one dies in the end, the main character hangs themselves for god’s sake.

 

Jake: It’s a Very Dark Comedy

 

Sarah: Can’t you just write a rage poem or something?

 

Jake: For children?

 

Sarah. No, not for children. Nothing you write is for children. I know it’s a popular market but your materials just too, well, dark.  Where the hell do you come up with stuff anyway?

 

Jake: Child hood.

 

Sarah: What?

 

Jake: It’s a modern retelling of a fairytale.

 

Sarah: what do dead babies have to do with fairies?

 

Jake: well in this one there was this kid, and he was mean to these storks, and all the other kids who were nice got live babies, and the kid who was really nice got a brother and a sister, but the little boy who was mean, his family got a dead baby.

 

Sarah: What?

 

Jake: Didn’t your parents ever read to you as a child.

 

Sarah: Nothing like that.

 

Anne: I like it.

 

Sarah: You would.

 

Jake: A lot of fairytales are like that. Bad little children being eaten, or split in half, parents dying, trolls, giants, witches, people being burnt alive... kids love it.

 

Sarah: It’s Disturbing. No parent would buy that for their kid.

 

Jake: Well…

 

Sarah: I said no.

 

Jake: But….

 

Sarah: No. No more kids plays. No more Fairy tales. No more ‘Modern Interpretations” of anything okay. .This is worse than that church play you wrote.

 

Jake: Hey at least It was Biblical.

 

Sarah: It was about a hooker killing a guy with a tent peg.

 

Jake: Like I said Biblical.

 

Sarah: That’s not the point. 

 

Jake: I mean have you ever read the Bible? It has Incest, murder, rape, genital mutilation, child sacrifice, genocide….golden hemorrhoids.

 

Sarah: What?

 

Jake:  Yeah

 

Sarah: Golden Hemorrhoids?

 

Jake: Yeah

 

Sarah: Are you sure?

 

Jake: It gets technical.

 

Anne: I want to hear this.

 

Jake:  The story goes that the Philistines stole the Ark of the Covenant from Israel, as punishment God smote them (young and old) with tumors (1 Samuel chapter 5). Finally they went and asked the priest of Israel how to get rid of the tumors. The Priest told them they had to return the Ark (but not empty) adding a guilt offering of five golden tumors and five golden mice (1 Samuel 6:4). The New International Version (as well as most modern interpretations) translates the word as tumors where as the Old King James uses the term emerods (which means hemorrhoids). The New American Bible Specifically uses the term hemorrhoids.

Anne: Oh

 

Jake: Where it becomes technical is the specific methods of translation and what can be called the primary sources. In short there are two methods of translation; Literal and Interpretive, each with their own difficulty. Literal tends to try to as closely as possible give the literal translation of a specific word or phrase; where Interpretive tends to focus on the meaning and historical / cultural context of the word. Then in the case of the bible you have the actual source used. For what is called the Old testament some use the oldest known text (where it can be found), which are typically in Ancient Hebrew.  Others use what is known as the Greek Septuagint, which is basically the oldest known Greek translation of the Old Testament. Others use the King James version and simply translate it into Modern English. Some use a combination.  So without going into all of the history and philosophy of translation, let’s just say there is some question of word choice. Most recent translations, because historical context and other documental evidence believe that tumor (the Hebrew meaning literally swelling) is a more accurate translation. As mentioned before the old King James and the New American Bible however translate it as hemorrhoids.  So word choice is a constant debate. But either way it is a weird thing to make a golden replica of.

 

Anne: How do you know all this stuff?

 

Jake: It’s a hobby.

 

Anne: Reading the Bible?

 

Jake: No, cross cultural interpretation and historical context.

 

 Sarah: Yeah, okay, that’s great, but, it’s not the point, is it. The point is you can’t go putting this stuff in plays and expecting people to buy it just because it’s in the Bible.

 

Jake: Why not.

 

Sarah: Because it’s not the Bible.

 

Jake: But they liked The Passion, and that wasn’t even accurate.

 

Sarah: Jake…

 

Jake: What if it has Charlton Hesston

 

Sarah: You just can’t, ok.

 

Jake: But…

 

Sarah: Look your missing the greater context. Most of the stuff in the Bible you are talking about (with the exception of genocide and slavery) are considered very bad things, negative things, and are in there for reasons that they are unacceptable. Kind of like a giant “this really isn’t cool”  sticker. But in any case it is considered by Christians to be a Holy and ancient text, and when you muck around with it, especially if you are not yourself a Christian, they get offended.

 

Jake: But why?

 

Sarah: Because you are a part of the out group and they do not know your motivation, which could be to mock or even convince people against their religion. It is just a bad idea. Besides, there is a difference between a Holy Book and a play or movie (regardless of what Mel Gibson might say).  People won’t accept this kind of stuff in a play.

 

Jake: Isn’t that censorship?

 

Sarah: It’s not censorship, its knowing your audience.  People have a right to watch or not watch , read or not read whatever they choose. If you choose to mess with your primary audience beliefs, they will boycott your book or play or music. You have to know your audience, that’s just basic Public Relations. I mean there really isn’t much censorship of materials. Technically you can publish whatever you want. The question is if anyone will be willing to buy it or pick it up. I can tell you no one will pick up a children’s play that is about suicide, and no one will pick up a church play that will probably offend people. It’s not censorship it is just the way it is. Of course you can still put it out there (people do) but don’t expect it to be popular or make money.

 

Jake: But people buy stuff that’s offense all the time. Some stuff intentionally upsets people and the make a lot of money. I am not even trying to upset people.

 

Anne: I upset people on purpose all the time, no one gives me money

 

Sarah: Look, it’s complicated. It’s all about audience and demographics, ok.  Just trust me on this one.

 

Jake: Ok

 

Jack: We’re here