Chapter 10: Jake

                        Jake.

 

 

 

“That settles it, now all we need is a van.”

 

“I have a van.”

 

“Jake you don’t even drive”

 

“So I still own one.”

 

“Why do you own a van?”

 

“Because I won it.”

 

“I mean why would you want a van?”

 

“It seemed neat, besides it has a couch and everything”

 

“You got it for the couch?”

 

“No... I won it, for the couch.”

 

“How did you win a van? Wait I don’t even want to know, where is it?”

 

“At a compound by the river.”

 

“Jake, we live in the city, there is no river.”

 

“Come on guys I'll show you.”

 

“Can I get this to go?”

 

<Inaudible response.>

 

“Now this sounds like it’s going to be fun.”

 

“Wait let me call my neighbor to water my plants”

 

 

They reached the compound around eight o'clock. It had taken them close to four hours in all (by car) to reach it. It was in fact by a river, it was also in fact nowhere near the city. Though it was brought up as to exactly how and why Jake had found the compound, the response was so idiosyncratic, and complex that the best anyone could figure was that one day, on a walk Jake got hungry, and as a result sought the nearest building, finding it full of some obscure rebel faction  who apparently not only felt compelled to feed him (“the best crepes of his life”), but also somehow lost a van (with a couch) in a complex wager, involving a drinking game, marbles and Margret Thatcher.

 

When they reached the gate, immediately a man wearing sunglasses and a strange hat ,stood up from his chair, at which point Jake began speaking rapidly in a language none of them could immediately pin point, though it sounded to them all remarkably familiar (it wasn't until later that week after the entire journey that Jack realized that the language they had been speaking was a made up dialect from a popular science fiction movie involving laser swords and what amounted to a giant talking slug) at which point the man using a small transistor radio called into the main compound and the gate was opened  Five minutes later the van was brought out (apparently still in working condition). Jake also informed them that they would be able to leave their vehicles at the compound until their return.

 

                This was how the Trip began, as all too common in poorly written novels with an all to convenient plot twist and what could either be described as luck or poor writing (see J.R.R .Tolkien). Of course there was a whole host of uninteresting and minute details required to pull off the type of cross country road trip the group was planning.  For one thing each person needed to go to their prospective homes and get the necessary clothing supplies and money (all except Anna who tended to carry the majority of her possessions in her backpack).We will skip all of that, suffice it to say, all necessary steps were taken to ensure the safety, well being, and hygiene of the group while keeping the same high spirited, self-willed, improvisation that is so popular amongst stories of this kind.

 

               

                Now we will try, in effect to describe The Van. The Van of course, being what the group decided to call the large white windowless Volkswagen Bus they had recently inherited. It was Large and White. The only thing that really set it apart from any other white windowless van used on an international crime spree was a single bumper sticker which read “Free Quebec” In bold blue letters on a white background. As for the inside of the van, it was much more interesting. Aside from the couch (which was apparently a hide-a-bed) there was a mind numbing assortment of small studio furniture, which was bolted or tethered to the shag carpet growing from the floorboard*. There was a lazy boy recliner, a coffee table, a night stand, a kitchenette with several wooden chairs a kitchen table and dinette set (all of course bolted down), cupboards, and oddly enough several appliances, all of which apparently had no available power source.

 

                All of this disturbed Leo a great deal. Vans and traveling was not his thing; the idea of a road trip seemed much more pleasant in the small diner. But now looking at the interior of the van he realized that he (along with several other persons, some of whom were obviously of the female persuasion) were going to have to live in this van for a matter of weeks. All of this rushed in to his mind as soon as he saw the inside of the van.

 

                It wasn't that Leo was against adventure, it was just that well, he was a private person, and his very prudent brain was wondering where he would be able to change. This was in fact the first thing he thought. I was only after this that he realized that there was an entirely separate and more disturbing issue of sleeping arrangements. And while the designer of the van clearly meant for it to be lived in, and had a brilliant ability to bend the laws of inter dimensional physics; they clearly had not intended it to be used for more than two persons (preferably in an intimate relationship). Also there was a disturbing lack of safety devices or seat belts

 

                Leo brought this up. Apparently no one else seemed to be worried about it. Anne Just smiled. Jack was trying the crepes. And Jake had already apparently fallen asleep on the large orange couch. Only Sarah answered him. She explained rather carefully, that there was a plan and that the route had been carefully mapped out and the sufficient and separate lodging were already accounted for. Jake of would sleep in the van. Sarah and Anne would share a room and the only person who he would have to worry about was Jack. It was at this time that they remembered Danny.

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* We say growing because no one really knew how it got there, and no one was able to remove it. As often is the case with Volkswagen buses circa 1960, the majority of the interior mostly just materialized. It was never planned or designed it just was.