Poem without a title.

I'd just like to hear your thoughts/criticisms on the poem before I give it to the person I wrote it about.

As I watched your whole world crumble

When I ripped your heart open at the seams,

I told myself I would never love again.

But the way the earth shakes when it quakes 

is nothing compared to the quickening of breath,

or the pounding in my chest

- as we touched,

I told myself to get a needle and some thread. 

Author's Note

I'd just like to hear your thoughts/criticisms before I give this to the person I wrote it about.

Reviews

[Jamestown]

This is very good, very sweet and pleasant, thanks for sharing and b-blessed

[Mari K]

The poem is good actually. If the person it is intended for was the one that you yourself did this to, I would have to question whether or not they were over the event before you told them this; as to not pour salt in an aching wound. However, it is a good piece though.