Crazy town

There are times... crazy times.. :)

Crazy town, crazy s**t
Boring, homeless in a kit
Taste of fun into my mouth
Traveling fast, traveling south

Looking around for a soul
Only rats into my zone
Taste of grace into my mouth
Traveling fast, traveling south


Look at me
I’m a star
Are you jealous?
Yes you are

Eat my trace
I’m so far
As I told you
I’m a star

Here’s nice but where am i?
I need a drink and eat a pie
Taste of fight into my mouth
I should have paid, running south

Running, running, running fast
Back to town back to past
Crazy town, crazy s**t
Boring, homeless in a kit

Reviews

[J. F. Charleston]

I think it's good. Don't let anybody tell you you're not good.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

I completely disagree. I haven't even read the poem - I'm not critiquing that, I'm going to review your review of this poem.

What world do we live in where one person cannot say to another "You are not good at this" or "You need to improve." I mean, constructive criticism is a definite must if somebody is doing something wrong and needs to improve, but at times some people are just not good at something. For example, let us contemplate a car mechanic who thinks using chocolate is a good substitute for oil. He is awful at his job and should be told. If a poet, by the same logic just wrote "csdfkjshdkfj sdfjksdhfjk" then you would say he is not good. By the same token.

And your review offers no insight at all. It's like saying "I like cheese. Cheese is great." Although to be fair, that is far more insightful than your own critique. Why do you feel that saying "I like it" is a worthwhile thing to say? It doesn't help the reader digest your point of view or what you gained from the piece whatsoever and just plays you to be a simple fool, who seems to think his little s****y opinion on what he thinks is good - without any sort of rationalisation - is actually worth everybody elses eyes reading for their tired little brains to compute into something understandable.

You're wasting everybody's time by leaving such inane reviews, and you're completely wrong by telling her to not let anyone tell her she is not good. No, she should want people to her she is wrong, to tell her "Have you perhaps considered this?" or at least "This is what I think. We can debate now." Life isn't black and white, and that completely includes letting people think they are either right or wrong, there is compromise and difference in opinion and potential. It's not good enough to say what you have said.

Your contributions are pointless and so unworthwhile.

At least put some effort into the things you say, who knows when your time is up and people are just left with all the things you have said half-arsed and lazily.

[J. F. Charleston]

Wow! Of course you're right about something, but telling someone that they're no good is completely rediculous. I think telling someone that they are good and then suggest something would be more proper instead of being so judgmental. Of course you can still say you have something incorrect, but telling them that they're no good is completely out of the question. You can think whatever about my contributions, but they have helped friends of mine in the past, but do consider your advice. Have they helped people before? If not you're just being a lazy critic. I will not stand for that. So I will drop this and hopefully you review your advice and thoughts. Oh, and I hope to read some of your work soon. Another thing, my contributions can either mean something to the person I'm telling it to helpful or hurtful. So they decide if it's "pointless and so unworthwhile." Out!

[JohnnyMagrinho]

Your contribution found within the words you have used to both review this piece of work and then my own review of your initial critique has been nothing short of pointless.

There. I said it. And was it mean or hurtful? I don't know. But to be ignorant is one thing and being completely stupid is another.

And who ends what they say with "out!" ? This isn't an utterance and it's not a Facebook status/comment, it's a written debate. There is a huge difference.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

Oh, and it really won't bother me if you do read my work whatsoever. If you choose to review something any inane points of view like the ones you have shared here will just be ignored and will be discredited. I can assure you.

I read some of your book, and I have to say I love how you said "Don't know if the grammar or spelling is right, but ignore that and tell me what you think!" Syntax and spelling are the make up of whatever you say; they bind and enhance your content to make it readable. Of course if you fail to exert proper use of acceptable syntax your reader will find your writing to be attritional. I really don't understand when people think it is acceptable to declare how much of a writer if they cannot in fact write coherently using the grammar structure of their chosen language. It's nonsensical. I really hope you understand what I am saying, as I am just saying what any logical, rational person would say, rather than being blinded some ridiculous obligation to ignore your shortcomings and baby you into feeling good about yourself/not bad about what you have done/said.

[J. F. Charleston]

Well I thank you very much. It's a American thing. I also do get what you are saying. And I just started writing somthing that big and have not had as much experience. This isn't a debate, FYI (For your info). Let me ask, how can you ignore a little friendly comment and word of encouragement even if the writer or anyone is not as good as you are? I understand that we have different views about things, but this has to end.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

I didn't even bring my own qualities or attributes, I merely commented on what you yourself said, off your own back. That's all. If you set out to show yourself to be a certain way you should be prepared for the backlash of people who don't like how you look. That's all. I was never arguing, I was just telling you on multiple counts how wrong you are.

[J. F. Charleston]

Well if that was all you were doing, I thank you again. I don't know you and you don't know me, but you are right when you said that I should be prepared for the backlash of others. I beleive that giving someone a friendly comment and word of encouragement makes a difference. And telling someone that doesn't baby them, it gives guidence. That's something that really does help the person. It helps to bring your own expereinces into it. That's all I'm saying.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

I don't care. You're a f*****g idiot and I know what I'm talking about, therefore whatever you say is just unimportant to me. Closed.

[J. F. Charleston]

Thank you. Out!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Oh .. I see the "A*S" hit once more .. He is self absorbed egotistical Jerk. ouch and OUT !

[....]

Wow, so powtic, i loved the last stanza alot. Simply wonderful.

[Scoxander]

I like the fast pace you got going on, and it feels more like lyrics but it's good I like it.

[Kyle]

This should be lyrics to a song. it would be good.

[Trixolomanea]

Wow, another great read! I really like the rhythm, it really flows. What I liked most about it was this part:
"Look at me
I’m a star
Are you jealous?
Yes you are

Eat my trace
I’m so far
As I told you
I’m a star"
It made me smile. You choose your words really well!

Well done, you! Keep up the good work.