God is a kid and I’m a toy

God is a kid, and I’m a toy
You make no sense, you’re just a boy
You hunt my days, you rule my nights
You are the rope, my hands that ties

God is a kid, and I’m a toy
you blindfold me, you’re just a boy
if you want games, do please say so
I’m a boy too, no need to grow

God is a kid, and I’m a toy
You make no sense, you’re just a boy
cheat my own eyes; but not my mind
so many years, I’ve been so blind

God is a kid, and I’m a toy
You make no sense, you give no joy
what if I kill myself tonight?
what if you kill yourself tonight?

Author's Note

just a point of view :)

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

The concept of god being a kid and your narrator being a toy is great, I can see why you repeated it as a refrain. The reader is left to fill in the image for themselves, i.e. what kind of kid...destructive? cruel? happy and sweet?

Wasn't sure about the meaning of "my hand that tights", read to me like the rhyme scheme messed with your semantics. Were you trying to convey that your narrator's hand is the one that tightens the rope - or that their hands are tied tightly?

The final two lines felt like they came out of nowhere, but maybe that was the idea, for deliberate dramatic impact(?) Interesting how matter-of-factly the questions are expressed...

Thanks for your message, I appreciate you reading my work. But the site generally operates through a review system, people exchanging reviews openly - otherwise a lot of people lose out on chances to be read :)

[Annie S]

Love the title which shows what exactly is being said in the poem and also the rhyming pattern is well
played out. The rhetorical questions also spiced it up which it made it an even more creative write
Beautiful Globy :) keep writing

[Ray]

Interesting point of view...though it might not necessarily be the way things are...

[Samuel Dickens]

An interesting point of view, expressed with clever phrasing and good rhymes. Well done, Globy.

[zainul]

Amazing point of view.
There is a a famous Bengali song of poet Kazi Nazrul Islam with similar point of view.
Lovely work.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. I believe we can't poor God for all things. Man had led us into a bad place where no-one can win. Good questions are raised in the entertaining poetry.
Coyote

[Trixolomanea]

So much truth in so little words..;

Seriously, well done!

[Angel Veselinov]

Really Nice point of view :P I love your work and the game with the words. But why the sad ending :)

[Christian Adriaensen]

love it, just like me you tend to right with a 'dark pen'. I like it.

[ChervenkovaM]

Very nice work. I love the repetition of the first lines it kind of gives the created feeling more depth :) and I like your POV, aren't we all toys scattered everywhere in a messy room ;)