thoughts from the head

I don't understand how moments of my time will be the only things remembered. 

Why can't I have vivid daydreams of laughing with my friend's and blissful sunsets

rather than blood, gravel, screaming, crying and lack of control?
How did I reach so high to hit so low?

I want to let it all go and never have another nightmare again 

yet without this trauma who would, I will be?

I've designed myself as a broken human if

Do I get fixed what is left of me?

all of my strengths all of my personality

come from my worst moments whom I without pain being

I angel with working wings

do I softly touch the hearts of others? 

who am I without my pain what

do I make of myself then?

nothing to fall back on who am I without pain 

Author's Note

I havent written in a while sorry for the rust!