That night.

That night.

A Poem by Lydia Waldock
"

PTSD from many experiences in life are so hard to deal with while trying to be a person

"
I still can sense and feel that night 
Upon the hill far away from others 
The screaming from friends nearby 
Adrenaline coursing through like a flooding river

The darkness swallowed me whole that night 
Feeling the bloodless blood on my hands 
Not able to help those who've stayed with me 
They walked away into the wilderness of scary shadow casting trees
My god, I thought they were dead
are they still dead?
why couldn't I help them?
how could I lose them?

If she hadn't made me kiss her those years ago would I still experience the same?
What if she didn't touch me like that while sleeping? 
Would that night still feel the same? 

Now sleeping is a lost cause 
Between the tossing and turning, I see her face I feel her touching me 
I hear him screaming I see them all dead and passed away 
How could I let the things that were meant to save me and help me ruin me 

These memories won't disappear 
I live that night everytime I close my eyes 
The sounds of rain bring me back to that night 
The colour of deep broken purple brings me to that night 
Will my life ever stop being this reliving of those nights?
Will I be able to come back from this? 

© 2018 Lydia Waldock


Author's Note

Lydia Waldock
Its a personal one but thats how we heal right?

My Review

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Reviews

It's beautiful :) No need for more words.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Lydia Waldock

5 Years Ago

Thank you!!
PTSD results from experiencing things and events outside the normal realm of human experience. This offering seems to include the aftereffects of some kind of disaster and youthful sexual abuse. The poet does a good job of painting word pictures that recreate those life altering ordeals. She is still quite young, so hopefully some kind of treatment will eventually allow her to put the experiences behind her. I hope so.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Lydia Waldock

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much, you hit it on the nail with taking its meaning from where my ptsd is from. I am.. read more
I also have PTSD and I find writing a great way to sort out my feelings and express myself, I hope it has helped you in this way too. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the best of luck in feeling better :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Lydia Waldock

5 Years Ago

thank you! I hope you continue to feel better as well
Writing your emotions down really does help. I suffer from PTSD also due to my life as a child growing up. Of what happened to me. Also seeing a counsellor can assist in helping you understand and get everything out.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Onlyme

5 Years Ago

Like wise Lydia anytime. Drop me a line. Keep expressing yourself. And look after you. Be kind to yo.. read more
Lydia Waldock

5 Years Ago

Lots of love thank you for your brilliance. Hugs.
Onlyme

5 Years Ago

Anytime Lydia. write to me. I mean that. hugs right back at you. Dawn.
Writing does help to heal , very much
I am glad it helps you let those emotions out , very powerful

Posted 5 Years Ago


Lydia Waldock

5 Years Ago

Thank you! It really does have help to heal.

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5 Reviews
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Added on December 2, 2018
Last Updated on December 2, 2018

Author

Lydia Waldock
Lydia Waldock

British Columbia, Canada



About
21 year old lover of poetry even bigger lover of writing poetry some trash some gold. life's tough might as well make some art more..

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