To Wish

Single star

upon the haze,

you my eyes

will choose to gaze,

make this dream

I have come true.

Let me know

what I must do.

Reviews

[Aley]

I feel like this poem is a step back. There's not much content in here which gives me any real imagery, it's just playing on the words and using an over-worked beat with over-said words to get the same point across as anyone else could say.

I'd love to have seen the thing after this, where the person goes and listens to what the star told them to do. That'd be interesting. Either that or see the person instead of hazy stars. If we had a different vantage point, something unique, and a more engrossing language, I think you would have a better poem.

[Botania]

Wishes don't always come true. Perhaps if we were personal friends w a star...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so poetically tight and rhythmic...

rolls off the tongue with the ease of true love.

[Botania]

Twinkling review from a star? My lucky day! Thank you Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no star, just another poet who enjoys reading your words.

[gorillarock]

i love the simple duality of "you my eyes" in this sweet poem!

[Botania]

Thank you gorillarock.