Barren Red Rocks

This is a free write poem I did relating to the difference of living in a big city and moving to a small town where although things are beautiful, you just don't quite fit in, because in this place, everyone knows everyone except you. And to be brutally h

 

This land is barren, all lost souls

At every turn my breath frosts cold

I see the snow fall soft and low

And breathe the peace that no one knows

 

But soon we have to take our leave

And back to the city we shall creep

A trail of experience once knee deep

Will soon become a stucco sieve

 

It’s quiet here and footsteps fall

Upon deaf ears, away from all

The loved ones beckon “come back to me”

Our leaves hang limp as winter’s trees

 

The buzzing of the city lights

Were once a frenzy, sans delight

The beacons now do lead the way

And what they say, sounds far away.

 

We’ll be there soon, we’re on the road

Might miss this place we’ve learned to loathe

The beauty is in the natural things

not in the race, of these simply odd beings

 

Farewall false friends we hardly knew

I don’t think that we will miss you…

We never really had the chance

Beyond the stolen glimpse and glance

Author's Note

Please feel free to leave any commentary, criticisms, etc. This was a free write poem that fell out of my head over a couple of minutes. Thoughts to screen :)

Reviews

[JRB]

Seeking and finding is hard and not always reached in one life, yet part of this inner hope just may be found, so inquire about, and never fail to ask.

[Steve Thompson]

interesting

[J.Black]

I agree with Flame!

"We'll be there soon, we're on the road
Might miss this place we've learned to loathe
The beauty is in the natural things
not in the race, of these simply odd beings" -- the tone is just perfect, really sets the mood.

[Flame DM]

roads are meant to be travelled for the journey, not in the finish. I liked the tone and just about everything in this piece XD

Flame

[just is]

Farewall false friends we hardly knew
I don't think that we will miss you�
We never really had the chance
Beyond the stolen glimpse and glance

I liked this stanza the best, so truthful as well.