Tuesday, June 2nd

Tuesday, June 2nd

Let's start off simply by saying, “If you are reading this and you aren't Tabitha Bay, then you obviously need to close this journal, immediately! If you fail to do so, these poisonous pages will do to you what I am unable to do myself.
Now that we have that matter settled, I can begin to address the bigger issue; particularly, the reason behind this journal and why I have chosen to begin one. So to future Tabitha, the one that will look back on her journaling days and think, "What was I thinking?” the answer is, you weren't. Had we used our brains, we'd have never considered the moronic idea of writing in a journal in the first place. To be honest about why I started this thing at all, mom said I needed a hobby. The most anti-social, non-active idea that I could come up with was journaling.
So future me, please forgive me for the ignorance that you are about to endure as you are forced to reminisce about the "good ole days". Unfortunately for you, you'll soon be reminded that, at this moment in time, we are sixteen, socially deficient, awkward, and our appearance isn't all that great either. We are short, skinny and an overall flatness encompasses our entire body with our nose being the only exception, of course. It is large, round and has that little wicked-witch pointed tip with tiny blackheads covering it; and then there is the rest of my oily, overly large-pored face. Oh we are certainly a sight to see (and one that is quite easy to point and laugh at).
And it isn't even like we have the advantage of brains to make up for the extreme lack of beauty; oh no! We are at best a B- student and our lack of focus doesn't help our case one bit. I am so overly disgusted with just how pathetic we are, that I am sitting here talking to the future me! If anyone ever does happen to find this I sure hope they don't seek me out and lock me in the loony bin. And for that very reason, I guess for now I'll just speak directly to you journal, because anti-social or not, I do not wish to spend the rest of my life in a white, padded room.
Since I have already mentioned, more than once, that I am anti-social, you won't be at all surprised when I admit that I only have one friend. Yes, sadly enough, it’s true. Her name is Abigail and she is my whole world. I love her to death and think she is an incredible person. However, despite my adoration, she's clearly just an ignorant fool; as she wastes all of her time (and enjoys it) with a pathetic, journal-writing loser such as I. Unlike myself, Abigail is a gorgeous individual and she radiates beauty both inside and out. She is also extremely popular but not in that clichéd sort of way that is always portrayed on television. No; Abigail is sincerely kind to everyone that she meets and she enjoys true friendships, not cliques like so many other popular girls these days. She believes diversity is what makes life worth living, while me; well, let’s just say that I prefer the path of solitude.
Abigail had all the problems that came with popularity: all the guys wanted to be with her, and all the girls; well, they just wanted to be her. There was also the issue of where to go and with whom, because she was always invited to everything, all the time: each sweet sixteen party, keggers, graduation celebrations, and the occasional college frat party. She declined many of these invitations just on account of me not being invited or me not wanting to arrive as her guest. I am not one to intrude. If I don't receive an invitation and I show up, even as Abigail’s guest; well, I guess I consider that intruding.
"But Ashley would love you! She wouldn't care that I brought you along. She knows that you're my best friend." I always stave off any conversations that start to go anything like this just by staring her down until she cuts out the nonsense. She inevitably has the same response with something along the lines of, "Then I guess you are stuck with me again for another fun-filled weekend of badly made horror flicks and over-buttered popcorn!" I always sort of feel bad for not trying harder to convince Abigail to just go have a good time without me, but when you only have one friend; it's really hard to pretend that their absence is an okay thing, even if it’s only for a few hours. As I have said, she is my world; she keeps me sane, and I mean from a lot more than just high school.
If you haven’t figured it out already, school isn't the only torturous place for me, unfortunately. I also have a great distaste for my home life, but I have a perfectly good reason. Aside from my parents’ false advertisement of our happy-go-lucky family, I have an older brother that completely ignores my existence. He only acknowledges me when Abigail is around, and that’s only because he is trying desperately hard to flirt with her. But, even at those times he doesn't really quite notice me. It’s more like he tries to put himself in front of me just to get a better shot at having Abigail notice him.
My brother, or Bryan as my parents named the b*****d, has a long-standing relationship of five years with a girl named Beth (who happens to be a really incredible person who I know for a fact could do better than my worthless brother.) Their relationship has never stopped him from flirting with every girl he comes in contact with though. He likes knowing that if he didn't have a girlfriend that all the girls would want “to get all up on that”, his words not mine. Ack! I imagine that future Tabitha will probably wind up liking my brother, but I doubt he will ever make something of himself well enough to change my image of who he truly is. Who is he, you ask? He is a conceited and arrogant quarterback, who also happens to be the captain of the football team, and the most popular guy in school. He is a bully and a sleaze; honestly, he disgusts me. Ack, ack and ack all over again.
As for my parents; well, I don’t really even feel like going there. I'll simply say that in public, everyone sees this madly, passionately in love couple. But behind closed doors is a completely different story. Your jaw would drop at the words they say!
I know I shouldn't focus on such negative aspects of the life that I’ve been given, but what else does an angst-ridden sixteen year old girl have to do? I could say that I have this totally incredible boyfriend that loves me unconditionally despite all my imperfections and flaws. But then I'd be lying. And I don't want to lie to you, dear journal; no, not to you, not ever. Besides, at the rate I am going I won't be able to attract a man for many moons. I may just keep this writing thing up. Considering that by the time I am noticed, all the good ones will have been taken, and all that I’ll be left to choose from are the sleazy dirt bags. I suppose that’ll be the only reason why they even notice me at all, because by then all the pretty girls will have been taken. And it won’t be by the star quarterbacks or the popular captains of the varsity teams; they'll have lost their need for the bad boy and instead they’ll seek out the now hot, intelligent nerds that made it big and desire a little piece of arm candy to carry at their sides. And where, dear journal, does that leave me? Drowning in a sea of dirt bags as far as the eye can see.
I sure hope Abigail is right; that I do have brains trapped somewhere in my skull. I am going to need all of the brain power that I can muster in order to make something out of myself because I certainly don’t see a strong, sexy, smart man (or even a puny, weak, moron) in my near, or far, future.
But, I guess that is just how life goes, down the drain.

Author's Note

Meet Tabby, the not so friendly, local anti-social loser. I promise that you'll love who she is and who she'll become.

Reviews

[E.H. Monroe]

The ugly-non smart teen thing is brutal. The beginning is also a great hook, the journal to be reread at a later date can easily open for either Tragedy with death or a more sweet romantic comedy where the protagonist FINALLY gets her due. It’s been done before, but it’s all in the details.

The ugly best friend to the popular girl has its perks. I wouldn’t know, but I’ve dated her and normally...she is just as bitchy as the popular girl.

The youthful colloquialisms work in journal form. Brings the older cats back to simple days and speaks to youngins with I’m sure issues that they deal with. The ugly one’s anyway..ho ho
“I, on the other hand will be the ugly junior that will fake a flu on prom night just so I don’t have to be a third wheel with Abigail and whatever boy she deems decent enough to go with.” It’s sad, but almost seems like she is ok with it, making is ok with it and kicks a little funny at em.

“I guess that's just how my life goes, down the drain.”-the negative but humorous ending.

Ya got something, even in an industry with “diary of a wimpy kid” this could go in any direction. As a prologue, it works. I’d say toss a little more dry humor in there. Let the wit work without exclamation points.

On to the next chapter...

[Call Me Blu]

Haha, what is funny but true is that I have hundeds of pages in my notebook like this. I made one when I was littl and always laugh when I think of how serious I took everything. Very nice.

[Kaden Elias Sylvers]

First off, I love how you start with a quote/disclaimer that is part of the story – here you are addressing the audience directly which pulled me into the piece and made me care about the narrator.Phrases I liked:“believes diversity is the way of life. I prefer solitude."The conflict in the story is cliché – not liking her brother, angsty about not being popular – make your story unique in some way. the voice of the narrator gets a bit too melodramatic. "As if your ugly a*s could ever have my man, please." - undertones f her not wanting men?

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I like how you grasp the undertone of her not wanting men... but even Tabby doesn't really know what she wants, she is just disgusted with how life is portrayed by others, especially those in high school.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

Oh and as for uniqueness, I am diligently working towards that one! Thank you so much for your kind words and as I continue to edit and continue on with this story, it will be embedded in my mind and I will be sure to add that little "touch".

[ali]

oh wow... so my internet just gave out just as i was sending you my very detailed review... oh well... lemme just recant it...
so I can really relate to this girl, especially with the blackheads! That was a great image. There is some authentic teenage angst you are voicing here. However, I felt like some of this story was plot summary. My suggestion would be to take out the parts where you feel like Tabitha is just listing things and take those things and write about them in detail without explicitly saying what they are- just use the sensory details. You never know, they could become later journal entries. Also, I personally wouldn't have my main character comment on the plot itself (especially about the part with the maid being cliche). Have her recant her experiences as they come, so that not everything about her is given away in the first chapter.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I guess I did cram a lot of the idea of Tabitha in the first chapter because of the way the character lives within me. She has never written in a journal before and this is how she feels a journal should be... later you will see other things unfold around her and you'll learn so much more about the character that you didn't get to in the first chapter because she will slowly open up and become the person she's meant to be (through out the story) vs the one she thought she was.

[steph]

I really liked the content of this chapter and I am looking foward to reading the next part. No errors I can see, and This is turning out wonderfully

[Samantha (:]

This is AMAZING. I love it! The thing that cracks me up the most is the fact that her mere friend is Abigail. In the 7th grade, during my time of... uh, glory, we'll call it. My one and only friend's name was Abigail. Hilarious! (: You're an amazing author!

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

Thank you, I hope the rest of the world will agree with you.

[Drako]

an interesting start to a story. a journal of a teenager can be an interesting thing, so long as they're not the preppy cheerleader type. i like where this is going and will certainly read on

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I don't think I have the ability to write as if I were a preppy cheerleader and it's not just because God asks us not to judge...

>

[Sarah McConnaughey]

This is a great story so far; interesting and funny. Well done.

[.shalynn.009.]

"you’d have never began" It's more proper to say "you'd never have begun"

‘click’; should be "clique." Click is a sound.

"I would ignore any comment that went anything like this just by staring her down until she would cut out the nonsense. She would then usually smile or nudge me" Watch your tenses. This makes it sound as though the friendship is over, and since it is being written by sixteen year old Tabitha, they are obviously still friends at the time of writing.

"and guitar hero!” Guitar Hero should be capitalized.

"he so well pleased." should be "pleases, since this is in present tense.

"Ack, ack, and ack all over again!" I like this. Really sounds like something a 16 year old might put in her diary.

"She has a perfect shape face" should be "perfectly shaped."

" I can image next year" should be "I can imagine"

"I know I shouldn't focus on such negative aspects of life that have been placed on me" This doesn't really make sense. Perhaps if you said "of the life that has been placed on me."

"The great thing about my parents are the fact" should be "is the fact"

"choose your husband" I think you should stick to "choose our husband" it's funnier that way.

"as all the pretty good finally got brains to get out of their habits of needing 'bad boys'" This doesn't make sense. I wasn't sure what you meant here.

This is good. I'm interested. I like the way you started it, because it's funny and sounds like what would be in a teenagers diary. I also like the way it ended, because it leaves you wanting to read more and find out how poor Tabitha survives. Good job and keep going with this.

[Midnight_Mystery]

love it..very nice :) wanna read more