Tuesday, June 2nd

Tuesday, June 2nd

Let's start off simply by saying, “If you are reading this and you aren't Tabitha Bay, then you obviously need to close this journal, immediately! If you fail to do so, these poisonous pages will do to you what I am unable to do myself.
Now that we have that matter settled, I can begin to address the bigger issue; particularly, the reason behind this journal and why I have chosen to begin one. So to future Tabitha, the one that will look back on her journaling days and think, "What was I thinking?” the answer is, you weren't. Had we used our brains, we'd have never considered the moronic idea of writing in a journal in the first place. To be honest about why I started this thing at all, mom said I needed a hobby. The most anti-social, non-active idea that I could come up with was journaling.
So future me, please forgive me for the ignorance that you are about to endure as you are forced to reminisce about the "good ole days". Unfortunately for you, you'll soon be reminded that, at this moment in time, we are sixteen, socially deficient, awkward, and our appearance isn't all that great either. We are short, skinny and an overall flatness encompasses our entire body with our nose being the only exception, of course. It is large, round and has that little wicked-witch pointed tip with tiny blackheads covering it; and then there is the rest of my oily, overly large-pored face. Oh we are certainly a sight to see (and one that is quite easy to point and laugh at).
And it isn't even like we have the advantage of brains to make up for the extreme lack of beauty; oh no! We are at best a B- student and our lack of focus doesn't help our case one bit. I am so overly disgusted with just how pathetic we are, that I am sitting here talking to the future me! If anyone ever does happen to find this I sure hope they don't seek me out and lock me in the loony bin. And for that very reason, I guess for now I'll just speak directly to you journal, because anti-social or not, I do not wish to spend the rest of my life in a white, padded room.
Since I have already mentioned, more than once, that I am anti-social, you won't be at all surprised when I admit that I only have one friend. Yes, sadly enough, it’s true. Her name is Abigail and she is my whole world. I love her to death and think she is an incredible person. However, despite my adoration, she's clearly just an ignorant fool; as she wastes all of her time (and enjoys it) with a pathetic, journal-writing loser such as I. Unlike myself, Abigail is a gorgeous individual and she radiates beauty both inside and out. She is also extremely popular but not in that clichéd sort of way that is always portrayed on television. No; Abigail is sincerely kind to everyone that she meets and she enjoys true friendships, not cliques like so many other popular girls these days. She believes diversity is what makes life worth living, while me; well, let’s just say that I prefer the path of solitude.
Abigail had all the problems that came with popularity: all the guys wanted to be with her, and all the girls; well, they just wanted to be her. There was also the issue of where to go and with whom, because she was always invited to everything, all the time: each sweet sixteen party, keggers, graduation celebrations, and the occasional college frat party. She declined many of these invitations just on account of me not being invited or me not wanting to arrive as her guest. I am not one to intrude. If I don't receive an invitation and I show up, even as Abigail’s guest; well, I guess I consider that intruding.
"But Ashley would love you! She wouldn't care that I brought you along. She knows that you're my best friend." I always stave off any conversations that start to go anything like this just by staring her down until she cuts out the nonsense. She inevitably has the same response with something along the lines of, "Then I guess you are stuck with me again for another fun-filled weekend of badly made horror flicks and over-buttered popcorn!" I always sort of feel bad for not trying harder to convince Abigail to just go have a good time without me, but when you only have one friend; it's really hard to pretend that their absence is an okay thing, even if it’s only for a few hours. As I have said, she is my world; she keeps me sane, and I mean from a lot more than just high school.
If you haven’t figured it out already, school isn't the only torturous place for me, unfortunately. I also have a great distaste for my home life, but I have a perfectly good reason. Aside from my parents’ false advertisement of our happy-go-lucky family, I have an older brother that completely ignores my existence. He only acknowledges me when Abigail is around, and that’s only because he is trying desperately hard to flirt with her. But, even at those times he doesn't really quite notice me. It’s more like he tries to put himself in front of me just to get a better shot at having Abigail notice him.
My brother, or Bryan as my parents named the b*****d, has a long-standing relationship of five years with a girl named Beth (who happens to be a really incredible person who I know for a fact could do better than my worthless brother.) Their relationship has never stopped him from flirting with every girl he comes in contact with though. He likes knowing that if he didn't have a girlfriend that all the girls would want “to get all up on that”, his words not mine. Ack! I imagine that future Tabitha will probably wind up liking my brother, but I doubt he will ever make something of himself well enough to change my image of who he truly is. Who is he, you ask? He is a conceited and arrogant quarterback, who also happens to be the captain of the football team, and the most popular guy in school. He is a bully and a sleaze; honestly, he disgusts me. Ack, ack and ack all over again.
As for my parents; well, I don’t really even feel like going there. I'll simply say that in public, everyone sees this madly, passionately in love couple. But behind closed doors is a completely different story. Your jaw would drop at the words they say!
I know I shouldn't focus on such negative aspects of the life that I’ve been given, but what else does an angst-ridden sixteen year old girl have to do? I could say that I have this totally incredible boyfriend that loves me unconditionally despite all my imperfections and flaws. But then I'd be lying. And I don't want to lie to you, dear journal; no, not to you, not ever. Besides, at the rate I am going I won't be able to attract a man for many moons. I may just keep this writing thing up. Considering that by the time I am noticed, all the good ones will have been taken, and all that I’ll be left to choose from are the sleazy dirt bags. I suppose that’ll be the only reason why they even notice me at all, because by then all the pretty girls will have been taken. And it won’t be by the star quarterbacks or the popular captains of the varsity teams; they'll have lost their need for the bad boy and instead they’ll seek out the now hot, intelligent nerds that made it big and desire a little piece of arm candy to carry at their sides. And where, dear journal, does that leave me? Drowning in a sea of dirt bags as far as the eye can see.
I sure hope Abigail is right; that I do have brains trapped somewhere in my skull. I am going to need all of the brain power that I can muster in order to make something out of myself because I certainly don’t see a strong, sexy, smart man (or even a puny, weak, moron) in my near, or far, future.
But, I guess that is just how life goes, down the drain.

Author's Note

Meet Tabby, the not so friendly, local anti-social loser. I promise that you'll love who she is and who she'll become.

Reviews

[E.H. Monroe]

The ugly-non smart teen thing is brutal. The beginning is also a great hook, the journal to be reread at a later date can easily open for either Tragedy with death or a more sweet romantic comedy where the protagonist FINALLY gets her due. It’s been done before, but it’s all in the details.

The ugly best friend to the popular girl has its perks. I wouldn’t know, but I’ve dated her and normally...she is just as bitchy as the popular girl.

The youthful colloquialisms work in journal form. Brings the older cats back to simple days and speaks to youngins with I’m sure issues that they deal with. The ugly one’s anyway..ho ho
“I, on the other hand will be the ugly junior that will fake a flu on prom night just so I don’t have to be a third wheel with Abigail and whatever boy she deems decent enough to go with.” It’s sad, but almost seems like she is ok with it, making is ok with it and kicks a little funny at em.

“I guess that's just how my life goes, down the drain.”-the negative but humorous ending.

Ya got something, even in an industry with “diary of a wimpy kid” this could go in any direction. As a prologue, it works. I’d say toss a little more dry humor in there. Let the wit work without exclamation points.

On to the next chapter...

[Aly Jones]

This is really long, but it held my attention all the way through! (Exceptionally impressive with my ADHD.) I know how she feels. My younger sister's the pretty one, too.

The relatability (excuse my horrible spelling, please) for this story is fascinating! Tabitha is someone that almost everyone in the world can relate to from one time in their life!

I'm glad that you didn't make her friendless, either. That would be a total bore.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

Your comment alone is uplifting and inspiring and I'm grateful for you review. Please feel free to continue to keep up with Tabby because this story is full of twist and turns and for me, a lot of tears and work.

[Aly Jones]

I will try.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

It is okay if you can't however I don't like reviewing other's work if they aren't in turn doing the same favors for myself, unless their work is a type of book I'd buy from the store knowing good and well the author may never enjoy or (even see) my own work for themselves.

[Aly Jones]

Understandable. I will do my best to continue reading on and reviewing it. :)

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I have another book, "The Misery of Bess" that is going to be a lot shorter and less detailed than this one if you want to review that one. I could use some more thoughts on it before I finish it and send it off to my best friend and illustrator to add to it.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

That book is for humor purposes, solely. This one is because it's been in my head for years, only Tabby used to be McKenzee (until I had my first child and named her McKenzee, that is). But she's lived in my mind for years and years and this whole story is just dying to finally come out and be shared with the world and what better time than now?

[Aly Jones]

Understandable. I think I'll review this one first, and then review the other. The only problem is with school, I'm kind of swamped with it right now. It's my first year in high school, and I'm having trouble adjusting. So, it might be a while before I actually get to sit down and read this, especially since I'm also busy during weekends with my friends and my writing. But please don't take it the wrong way, because I really want to continue reading this.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I understand sweet heart. I have a five year old in school and a son that just turned two today and even though I am a stay at home mom, life is full of busy work to be done and surprises, constantly! I recall what it was like to start high school and all the work and every thing, so I completely understand. Just when you find time definitely look into it, you know I will read your work when I can, as well.

[Aly Jones]

Okay, thank you. And aw! They're so adorable when they're that young! I have a brother that's five and a sister that's three, so I know what a handful they can be. But they're just so precious that it's all worth it. ♥

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

Precious isn't the right word for it... LOL ;) But adorable, yes.

[Aly Jones]

LOL. I know what you mean.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

absolutely fabulous writing.......wow!

[The Perfectionist]

"socially deficit" doesn't make sense. I think you want "deficient". Commas around "future Tabitha" in the next line.

Your English is bad in general, but it's bad in the kind of way that makes it believable for a sixteen year old girl to be writing. The one thing that I can't accept by those standards is your abuse of verb tenses. The diary entry flits aimlessly between past, present, and future tenses without seemingly any regard for when these events actually took place. A little consistency would be nice. Here are a few examples:

"I would ignore any comment". Presumably, Tabitha still does this, so that should be "I ignore any comments"
"I always felt bad for not trying harder." Once again, she still does, so "I always feel bad"

The other thing I don't like is your interchanging of "my" and "our". If you want to identify both Tabithas as a single entity, that's fine, but you can't combine them and then separate them. If you are stating that right now "we" are a shrimpy bean pole, it must then be "our" nose that is the exception. And again, "we" are a C- student, not you. It's either "me" and "you" OR "we", not both.

Also, no sixteen-year-old C- student knows how to use "whom" correctly, especially not one for whom (see what I did there) English is clearly not a strong point.

Finally, this whole thing seems rushed, but as I've never read a diary of a sixteen year old, maybe that's how it's supposed to be.

[hannajade]

Great start, however with the font in its in is kinda hard to read, maybe you could change it to something different like tahoma or times new roman?? yeah i know the names of font,

:) I will look forward to reading more!

[Shelby]

From an actual person who, sadly, was this character, I must say you've captured the verging on loner at school very well. If only I'd had an Abigail too, my life would have been so much easier.
"Ack, ack, and ack all over again!" Haha, I like this. Very teenaged girl. I like this character already, by the by. And I like how this is written. It's new and fresh to read of someone writing a jounal to their future selves. Very fresh. And Bryan was a very well chosen name, as far as I'm concerned (can you say crazy ex-boyfriend?)
This seemes like a very promising story, cute and likeable. looking forward, as ever, to reading more of your work.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I like the sound of, "a promising story". Haven't been on WC in a quite a while but sure hope you are doing well, dear friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent beginning to this story. You create a interesting character and very good story. I like her thoughts and emotion in this chapter. A very good start to your story. I look forward to reading more. Thank you.

Coyote

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

I always love to see your reviews. Don't feel obligated to only give me good thoughts though. I am always open to honest, constructive criticism.

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

Great job...... It continues to grab me and leave me wanting more... Thanks

[Lindsey]

Long and entertaining!

[trainwreck]

Quite an interesting chapter! I like it. Its an interesting concept indeed!
Tabitha and Abigail are very realistic.

[diannesam]

I can relate to this as well. I love the descriptions, very good :)