Reagan Part One: Leaving Tristan

Written by: Amanda; Edited/Revised by: Natasha

 

You probably don't know what it's like to have an autistic for a best friend. Well I can tell you it isn't easy, but when your parents are best friends and you're born only eight days apart it's bound to happen. This autistic friend I speak of is Tristan Holloway. Looking at him you would never know he's Autistic, it isn't like Down Syndrome or whatever where you know right off. Tristan at sixteen is already very handsome, six feet tall with wavy brown hair and the most striking blue eyes I have ever seen, well except for his mom, Raine's. Oh and he's got dimples, these gorgeous dimples that are most prominent when he smiles. In looks he's got it made, but when it comes to mannerisms and speech-not so much. People laugh when they see this young adult, whom appears normal, talking like a child. The worst though, are the meltdowns. He starts stemming (flapping, rocking, spinning, etc...) and screams, cries, or both. It's hard to comfort him during these episodes and I hate myself for even thinking this but they are so embarrassing. Everyone staring and everything, it's horrible.

 

Basically the problem that I have with Tristan, really isn't a problem at all because it's not his fault, it's the Autism, it isn't as if he can control it or anything. Yet here I am thinking of telling him to take a hike while he's in Mrs. Martin's class down the hall. He's probably practicing sign language with his speech therapist, thinking it's almost time to go home, completely unaware that anything is different. If he knew I wouldn't be walking him home today he'd be stemming for sure. I know a change in routine doesn't go over well with Tristan but I have to do something for me, for once. I should have that right, right?

I have exactly three minutes left World Geography, my last class of the day and my very best girl friend will be meeting me at the front of our schoolhouse. There she will be waiting to ask me to walk home with her, like she always does. We only live a few miles from the school- just in different neighborhoods- but I always walked home with Tristan and she'd get a ride with another friend, so this will be the first time I’ve ever said yes. I will leave Tristan to fend for himself, I won‘t be his babysitter. I will leave him to walk himself home and if there is a God, he will never forgive me for my actions. I just need to get away from him, for a single moment in my life, I just hope that I won't forever regret this.

Here goes nothing.

As soon as the bell rang, I rushed from my seat and made it out of the classroom first, which showed the rush I was in as I sat in the very back of biology. I was in a hurry to get out of this school, unnoticed. As I was rounding the corridor towards the front of our school, I noticed Annie so my pace quickened when I ran smack into Tristan, literally. A sign already, great.　

Tristan as usual is completely oblivious. He's snapping and saying "Home! Home!." Off in his own little world. My palms began to sweat and my heart was beating so hard and so fast I wondered if anyone else could hear it. Time to make my escape. Could I do it? Ugh. I have to! I took a deep breath and took the plunge.

"Tristan, I can't walk you home today, okay?"

I could see his face change, and his left arm began flapping at his side - a bad sign.

I couldn't take it anymore, I bailed. I ran towards the door and burst through it as if escaping prison. In my head I could hear dogs barking. Sniffing me out. I grabbed Annie's arm and darted towards the street. We ran till Annie stopped me a mile or so from the school (and Tristan).

By the time that Annie caught her breathe she yanked on my sleeve and put my face close enough to her that I felt her heavy breaths on my nose. “What is Gods name is wrong with you woman?” I know if she weren't still out of breath she'd be yelling at me. She thought I must have been a mad woman as I noticed my face was twisted and contoured. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to scream, yell, or cry; was I filled with joy or was I pissed at myself, full of guilt? She must have noticed the tears in my eyes though because she pulled me into a hug.

"Reagan you're freaking me out. What's wrong?" she asked holding me tightly So many emotions swirled inside me. I didn't know whether to scream, cry, or laugh. Was I filled with relief or anger? Perhaps I was just filled with guilt. I burst into tears. I could feel Annie's hand graze the back of my head, trying to comfort me, though I knew she had no clue as to why I needed to be comforted. That's just the type of girl Annie was. I appreciated her friends, after all she was the only girl in the 9th grade who wanted to be my friend. I tried to pull myself together and think of the best explanation possible that wouldn't involve Tristan. I knew thinking about him and what I’d just done would bring about another round of tears.

"Sorry, I’m just… stressed. Didn't mean to get mascara all over your shirt. I really should stop wearing that stuff."

Annie burst out laughing. "Stressed? Girl you just ran out of school like your pants were on fire. As for my shirt, your happiness is much more important to me than a stupid five dollar t-shirt from the goodwill, girl. I’m all ears, unless talking about it will make you cry me another river.” Annie winked, then poked me in the ribs.

Her kindness and friendship gave me the strength to walk the rest of the way home without worry. The thoughts remained shadows in the back of my mind though. After waving goodbye to Annie as I made my way up my driveway I stopped dead in my tracks. There was part of my plan that I hadn't considered-my mother. Being best friends with Tristan's mom, Raine, since they were in elementary school, they never go a day without speaking.

I know as soon as I walk in the door my mom is going to ask about my walk home from school. She's also probably going to ask if Tristan had a better day today than yesterday. Yesterday Mrs. Martin was out sick, so his class had a substitute. This came as a shock to Tristan, so he had spent the entire day having meltdowns and stemming endlessly, unable to cope with the disturbance to his routine. How am I going to explain that yes he was having a better day, until I went and ruined it? Oh God, what am I going to do? I could lie, but that will only do me good until my mom gets a call from Raine or vice verse. This is a nightmare.

My heart was racing when I finally gathered up the courage to open the door. As I walked into the kitchen my heart plummeted - there was my mom… on the phone. My palms were drenched as I took a seat at the dinner table, never taking my eyes off of her.

"Well Reagan just walked in the door, so let me ask her." Putting the phone to her chest she turned to face me. I tried to keep my face emotionless, but I must have given something away because a look of concern crossed her face as she looked into my eyes.

"Reagan… Tristan walked home with you today right?"

My eyes filled with tears as the image of how I last saw him filled my mind. I couldn't tell her. I wouldn't. I didn't mean to cause such a mess that could be even bigger than I’d imagined. I just wanted to be normal for a day and not hold his hand while he asks me repetitive questions. Questions that he'll just keep asking because my answers don't make sense to him. I didn't want this.

After thirty seconds of silence the phone fell from her trembling fingers.

"Reagan Marie Dawson! Where is Tristan?"

Raine could be heard screaming on the other end of the forgotten phone. "What? Dawn? Tristan isn't with Reagan?? Oh my God... where is my baby??" Click.

Panic settled in, and the tears that had been brimming my eyes spilled over. "Mom I’m sorry. I didn't mean to, I didn't think it would be a bad thing. Honest. I just didn't want to walk him home. That's ALL! I want my own life and he's holding me back, but I’d never want him hurt. Mom please!"

My pleas went unanswered, as she had run from the house. I was alone.

Running up to my room, I threw myself onto my bed. I must have cried myself to sleep because when I awoke the sun was blaring into my eyes. I was still in the clothes I wad on yesterday. There was pain in my chest, a knot in my throat, and snot dried all over my cheek. I've never cried so hard in my life. Staring at the lock on my door I remembered why I looked and felt this way. I didn't want to get out of bed. I feared what I was about to face. Also I wondered if Tristan was okay. I couldn't convince myself to do anything but grab my backpack and clean my face in the bathroom I normally shared with my half sister Saydee. Saydee, being four years older than me, was away at college. So even she couldn't save me from impending doom. Do you think they’ll call it murder since I sort of brought it on to myself from being selfish? I pondered as I made my way downstairs.

I found mom on the couch, feet curled under her, reading the newspaper. It looked like she hadn't slept much last night. She had black circles around her eyes and they were still slightly red. She looked like she hadn't brushed her hair and she was still in her pajamas, looking restless.

"M-om?" my voice cracked.

She looked at me a moment before laying the newspaper aside. Upon her face was a look of pure frustration. I had never seen her so upset.

"Reagan, I’m almost at a loss for words. You've disappointed me and truly hurt me. I've raised you better than that… at least I thought I had. I never expected you would do something like this. I figured you were far too intelligent to ever even consider leaving Tristan alone or completely abandoning him like that!" Her faced looked strained, like she was holding back from crying.

"Mom, I-" she wasn't finished though and cut me off. Lips trembling I closed my mouth.

"Do you know what Raine said to me Reagan? She said my child was irresponsible and selfish. She told me I need to teach you the right way to go about things. Reagan, my best friend told me I shouldn't call her until she calmed down, and if I didn't hear from her for a while she knew I'd understand. You know she didn't find Tristan and get home with him till late last night? I only know because I watched out the window. She didn't even call me to let me know." I guess she couldn't hold back anymore because she started crying. I had broken her heart.

"I have never been in a fight with Raine, never! I've never done anything to cause harm to her life or the life of her son, and you go and do something like this to me, Raine, and Tristan too! Reagan, I am so hurt that you would even consider ditching your best friend just so you could do something new. You could at least have had the decency to have called his mother!" The ending of her speech was spoken with anger, but I could feel that she was just trying to express herself through her unhappiness.

When she was done she went back to her paper, trying to hide her pain and silent tears. I grabbed my lunch bag off the counter and headed out the door. I noticed Raine's car pulling out of the drive way as I stepped outside. It just made things worse for me so instead of going right towards school, I turned left. I walked towards the woods to spend the day alone, in my own thoughts.

Author's Note

I'd love fully detailed reviews; all critiques welcome!

Reviews

[steph]

This chapter really touched my heart. I had an Autistic friend named Craig, That I had met in the 9th grade and he was the best friend I ever had... I miss him. He died 5 years ago and I can still think about his sweetness, his mannerisms, and his child-like innocence. I really loved this story, because like the Character (I am not sure if its you) I had done some things to upset the balance of things in craigs life. Alot of times it was for superficial selfish reasons, but he was always there waiting for me Rocking back and forth, knowing somehow, that I would return.... I admire this piece greatly and I look foward to reading something further about Tristen and His friend....

[Jooolie]

This is great. You guys are really good at writing really great emotions. And you've already got me torn between who to side with. I can completely understand both Reagan's and the mom's point of view and you did a great job of setting up that conflict. Lovelovelove :)

[Shelby]

I'll start off by saying that you have a knack of capturing a teens anxieties and mistakes on paper, a hard thing to do. You have mixed in Reagan's thoughts and fears amongst the sensory details quite well. I was impressed. Also, you seem to understand how to put in the necessary details of age, grade, names, etc. without getting bogged down in endless descriptions. However, there are a few moments where tweaking is in order. I would suggest (merely suggest, mind you, nothing is mandatory) that Dawn hold off beginning to cry until "She started crying harder and as if i didn'tfeel miserable enough already..." Try to build up to that emotion. Put in some description (not too much) of how Dawn looks after her sleepless night because it will help give her a more frazzled and upset appearance. From personal opinion, i don't think mothers burst into tears often in front of their children - out of the misguided need to seem strong - but in this instance, it can work, because of the long and close relationship between the two women. I love that you start out with such a huge mistake and strong emotions, because it caught my attention immediately. However, I was taken out of the story by the moment when Reagan is watching Tristan getting put into the car. You momentarily switched tenses (past to present) You wrote: "Finally she got him into the car. He has to sit in the backseat with the child safety lock, in case he flips out going down the road he can't escape and hurt himself or get lost. As they drive by, I see..." You get the picture. It should be "Finally she got him into the car. He had to sit in the backseat with the child safety lock, in case he flips out going down the road he can't escape and hurt himself or get lost. As they drove by, I could see..." Also, the second sentence is awkwardly written and feels uncomfortable in the reading. You would probably do better to put it more like: "...in case he flips out going down the road. That way, he can't ..." HAve you typed it in Word? I would suggest you do so if you haven't. Make use of their spelling/grammar check and you can focus on the storyline. However, this is informal writing and Word won't like much of your sentences, so don't always take everything it says at first glance. And remember, it won't catch everything, especially spelling errors, so keep your eye on it too. Overall, this is very well-written and I enjoyed it immensely. Can't wait to keep on reading!

[Abbie]

Very good but why did she leave him at the school even if she new because of his learning disabilitys she knew that trisdan wouldn't be able to find his own way home.Great write. I'm definetly gonna keep readed these book

[.shalynn.009.]

"from the goodwill, girl" goodwill should be capitalized

"I know as soon as I walk in the door my mom is going to ask about my walk home from school. She's also probably going to ask if Tristan had a better day today than yesterday" Watch your tenses. You switched from past to present tense.

"I didn't mean to cause such a mess that could be even bigger than I’d imagined." The second half of this sentence makes it awkward. I don't think it's necessary, you could stick with just the first half.

"I just wanted to be normal for a day and not hold his hand while he asks me repetitive questions." I like this. It gets her dilemma across and makes the reader feel for her predicament rather than be mad at her for abandoning Tristan.

"sun was blaring into my eyes" doesn't "blaring" refer to sound?

"I normally shared with my half sister Saydee." I thought Reagan was her first child. Unless you changed something...

"Do you think they’ll" generally you want to avoid using 2nd person, because technically the character (in this case Reagan) isn't really talking to anyone. It isn't vital to take this out, but it's something to think about.

"I've raised you better than that" Parents (at least mine) say "I raised you better than that, since the raising up until now was done in the past.

"ford escort." this should be capitalized

"Raine wouldn't hear anything of it though, I’m sure" watch your tenses

"He has to sit in the backseat with the child safety locks, incase he flips out going down the road he can't escape and hurt himself or get lost." those tenses again.

I'm liking this. Reagan is developing nicely adn the story is till good. In media res (to start in the middle of the story) is one of the rules of writing. Where you failed in this in the prologue, you did this wonderfully in the first chapter. In fact, you almost start at an end, from what I can see. I don't know anything about autism, so I have no idea what's wat with that, but so far what I can see is good. You have to really watch your tenses though, becuase you tend to switch back and forth and this takes the reader out of the scene and interrupts the story. All in all, though, this is a great start and you and Natasha are doing well.

[shelbylugal]

This sentance was a little confusing-

Basically the problem with Tristan is that I have a problem with him at all.

The "That I have a problem with him at all" doesn't make a lot of sense, other than that, the beginning really drew me in.


We ran till Annie stopped me a mile or so from the school (and Tristan).
I was just wondering what grade they were in to be able to run a mile. I love how you added, "And Tristan"

Right here--My pleas went unanswered, as she had run from the house. I was alone." is a major part in the story i think so you could add more on how, instead of just leaving the house the mom darted out the door in a frantic panic or something like that.


This was a very good chapter and I can't wait until you get the next on eup!

[Sarah McConnaughey]

That was really good. I felt really bad for Tristan and makes me wonder where his mom found him. I thought you did an amazing job describing the characters, the dialogue was strong, and the story was just really great! Well done!

[Thomas Sawyer]

Nice story. But the prologue was in third person,you can make it first person like this chapter,for uniformity. According to the prologue,Reagan is supposed to be Dawn's first child,where does Saydee come in? The first/third person thing is important. Good story. Keep writing!

[ImJustAMisguidedGhost]

Great first chapter. It really caught my attention. I felt so sorry for Tristan when he was left all alone to fend for himself. You really got the characters' personalities here and you brought them out very nicely. I love the whole storyline of this on the whole. It's interesting and new. Keep it up, it's great! (: