Silent Laughter

Laughing so hard that my sides hurt...

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That was a world class moment Bess, world class.  I can't get the image out of my head or maybe it's because I've drawn it over one hundred times.  Candice + Trash Can = the world's most hilarious moment of all time.  As for the suspension, I suppose it was worth it.  However, not sure how your dad will take it but I guess he may just be... 

...proud?  

It's quite possible Bess.  He's always thought you were a waste of space and not just because of your weight problem but because you were a nobody.  Bess, today marks the day that you've become someone.  You are THAT girl and even though you've only become the coolest of the losers, at least you are something.  Besides, if being popular means being a snot nose brat like Candice, then being the most awesome of the losers is way better and more rewarding.  I've already got other schemes and ideas now that you've decided to be more than a lump on a log.  

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For instance.  It's time you share your art with the world and the best way to remain anonymous is to graffiti.  Damn right!  

You can graffiti the world and express yourself beautifully.  I imagine that Trevor would find it rebellious and sexy.  That is if he realizes your work, of course.  Maybe you can add a trademark that will only be obvious to him... huh?  Aha!  I knew with my brains and your creativity that we'd come up with something... 

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Bess, you're a genius in disguise and it's a pretty damn good disguise, too.  Too damn bad you're not trapped in a fat suit as well.  But that will come in due time... hey Bess!  Maybe you should change the title of your diary to, "The Mess Bess Overcame" because you don't look as miserable as the day you started this journal.  Who would have known that something great was coming for such a pathetic piece of scum that is you.  

Yes, Bess I know that was rude but if life is hosting a pity party for you then someone still has to talk smack otherwise you'll get on your high horse and forget where you came from!  Besides, the attacks are what gave you strength and enough courage to trash the evil b***h that has tormented you for years....

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Uh oh Bess, maybe I was wrong about your father... he's a bit red in the face and looks a little ticked off and he reeks of Jack and coke.  

"Bess, come over here lard a*s so that I can give you a talkin' to."  What's a talkin' to Bess, what's he on about?  Bess, watch out!  Holy... 

Did you... 

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Yes, yes you did.  Dad, don't you ever try to hit me again or I'll clog the toilet with your remains.  Bess, I'm in shock.  Never have I seen you so... so...

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Definitely not a warty troll but much more like a raging green hulk!  I absolutely love it Bess, we can take over the world if you keep up with this deceiving mighty warrior thing you've got going for us- 

You do still plan to include me in your life, don't you Bess? 

.....Bess?