oh father

I have seen you crawl.
I’ve seen you fiend.
I’ve seen you burn out
Like your forgotten cigarettes
As you fall into a dreamless slumber
I have longed to speak to you
But you don’t speak anymore.
You blow in the wind.
I needed you.
You needed it.
It took you from me,
And you let it.

Reviews

[Hollywood]

Interesting. Keep writing.

[elektrikstar]

Not a very traditional poem, and rather to the point. It isn't bad, it isn't good; I had the idea that it would be about unresolved father issues just by reading the title.

Wicked way to go, and it never gets easier; It's a lie that it does.

I wonder how do you with longer pieces of writing after reading this. A valid first attempt, I must say. I would keep it up, and find your niche.

[.]

time...claims all things
except...time
- - - - - - - - - - -

I was taken aback when I saw the title, for ten minutes ago...well
on a different path , I was lead

Peace, R