existence

life and death

The idea that I am required to critically view the world scares me the most that I am supposed to understand the why of our being. In a a perception so obsecure and yet tangible. Wondering why we cant just get along. Why the human race is so selfish. Trying to comprehend life and surmount the expectations of society. I am constantly put on a test, on the front line is where I reside. Raging war against memories, history, and reality. Closing my eyes and escaping in a fantasy world. Wondering if there is a world beyond the sky. Wondering if one day I will open my eyes and it will be a batter world full of love and harmony. Standing in space staring in the abyss. Its like I am free falling into eternity, but still worry about time.

From those things we cant get to the things we can. From those limits set above us and we cant break through these boundaries. Trying the same things everyday but can’t seem to get any grip. Life is unfair but death is to. It happens and so does death. Some die smiling and others in pain. Some are taken in the shadows of the moon. Some die young and they never get to know the meaning of life. we all are caught up in the same straggles just on different levels. I can’t seem to see the future but I can see the past. And how can I say the future is bright when I can’t even see it. Though my past is dark and gloomy but at least I see the shadows. Lord what’s the point of living if we have to die. It feels like I am in projectile motion and I already hit max. I am about to hit the ground but I have no clue. I still have dreams of being great but my death is tomorrow. I can’t believe I will be one day closer to the grave by tomorrow morning. Bullets shooting all through the window glass. Shuttering It to a million parts. Ducking rolling on the ground like a f****n thief. It’s like I stole this life from someone else. No mom it wasn't supposed to be me. I wasn't supposed to be born, no not in this s**t hole called life. with food or friends, caught up in the hustle. It’s like I don’t deserve to live and every day is a straggle. I am living life on the front line and death is only in the corner. One day if I ever met God I will ask him why? Why does one mother f****r has the money and the resources for a million people and a million have nothing to show for their f****n life? I am depressed man I need a easy way out but I can’t choose death because it will be surrender to the enemy. I am in a war with death and suicide means we lost the war. So I keep my head up even though I am already burred ten feet in. I keep breathing until life pukes me out. I will never give up on the breath of life.