over-thinking is my problem

im a homosapian looking for answers

my mind is so complex

i always find myself over thinking

its come to a point that im "shy"

i dont try to be

i dont want to be

i don't think its cute

its annoying

its just,

there.

ever since i was little I've worried about the future

i think way too many people talk about remembering the days they didn't care

i don't remember them

the earliest thing i remember

is me thinking

"would i be able to look back at this,

and be proud to tell my friends when i'm older"

i watched so many shows i didn't like

did so many things

i didn't want to do

but i knew they would make a great story

and i thought my brothers were cool

so i just did what they did

but they always pushed me away

i just tried to be more like them so they would accept me

i never remember being myself

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM

I've been holding myself back

all of my life

i don't remember ever being truly happy

I'm so serious

i don't want attention i just want you to know

I've always felt fat and ugly 

unwanted an useless

i don't know why

i could have some sort of psychological problem

but i cant speak my feelings to a stranger

i may never know whats truly wrong with me

but i want it to go away