Highschool Hell

Basic poem about love and loss (teen)

Junior year for a guy should be fun and games

Friends and parties day and night

Hookup with 3 girls, I just might

But still my limp heart remains

 

I used to be the happiest kid alive

a girl who cared for me,

I was in love with life, anyone could see

Now I’m just trying to survive

 

Avoiding my friends and hiding away

Popping pills to avoid the pain

Crying to the few friends that remain

Does anyone care about what I have to say?

 

You told me you always cared for me

That you would always be there

That you would never hurt me, you would swear

What a b***h you turned out to be

 

I’m as fragile as I’ll ever be

Little things cause me to lose my grip

F**k girls f**k that relationship

You’ll miss me eventually

Author's Note

first poem submitted, looking for opinions

Reviews

[Destiny]

I have small revisions so the poem in the beginning might flow a bit better
"Friends and parties day and night" to Friends and parties, day and night
"I was in love with life, anyone could see" to two lines and break it off where the comma is.

Overall most people can relate. It's to the point and very emotional. I hope poetry is a different form of you coping than popping pills. It's very good and well-written.

[Alicia™]

I liked the last line of the first stanza… I can imagine the story behind it, and hear the distinctive voice of your character.

[Dani]

I like the first stanza-- provides a great transition into the rest of the piece. For a first this is pretty well-written, the frustration and heartbreak of the speaker is very relatable. Nice rhyme scheme.

[† Allybear!!! &d..]

This is a nice poem. I am only three days old in writing myself but its sad. Dont give up on girls all together because of one bad apple. you will find that one for you.
Great Job!